If pounds was a paycheck, you'd be salary. You're not alone in this, I got a tummy too. I'll worry about the weight, don't let it trouble you. - De La Soul
I'm anti-phone. I hate it. I'd much rather write you a letter or send you an email or chat over IM or see you in person. I really do want to converse with you, discuss your life, your politics, your relationships. I just hate the phone. I love when the phone rings, I love getting messages...I just don't want to talk to you through it...most of the time (I do have my happy phone days). The phone is debilitating for me. It requires me to focus on only one thing and my mind just doesn't work that way. I usually need at least 3 things to stimulate me: whatever my primary task is, either music or television (I can't deal with silence) and a distraction that I can return to on a regular basis (like IM, email, or a particularly interesting magazine, book, website, etc.). When I'm talking on the phone, I can't do any of those things and then my mind wanders as I obsess about the hair on bailey's neck or why he's looking at me that way or how would I deal if I was arrested for a crime I didn't commit or who I'm going to vote for for governer in the primary or why am I scared and amazed by the medical community all at the same time and I'm gone for 30 seconds and you've been talking and all of a sudden I'm lost and I'm responding with some lame response because I don't have any idea what you just said but I do know that Bailey looks at me that way because he wants to gnaw my tongue off in my sleep because he hates all the damn noise I make.
And I feel bad about that. I want to pay attention to you. I do really care...but I can't focus when I'm on the phone. Call me during the commercials of a tv show and we can discuss that, we can even sit silently on the phone while the show is going on and discuss things that way...then at least I have 2 things to deal with and I can work to focus on one. I know that we are on the same plane of existence at that moment, staring at the same show, thinking about the same things and my mind can process it all and give coherent responses and listen to you.
So just don't be mad if I don't answer the phone. I'm not avoiding you...i'm just avoiding that form of communication. It fucks my shit up all day. You're not alone. I never call my family, my grandma, my auntie, my best friends, my good friends, my hated enemies. When I was in college, I talked to my family maybe 4 times a school year...fo'rilla.
But please keep calling and leave me interesting messages and tell me your life. I wanna know more. I just probably don't wanna know over the phone.