"Have you ever been hated or discriminated against? I have, I've been picketed and demonstrated against." - Eminem
Headphones on. New ones. Big, covering all of my ear, engulfing me in the sound, drowning out the world. Listening to others express the anger I can't find, the emotion I can't bring, the love I don't feel. Trying to encase myself in the passion of the music. Wrap myself in it, drink from it, become it.
I'm reading Hua Hsu's article (requires flash) on The Roots and their fall release Phrenology while listening to The Eminem Show head-nodding as Em just kills it. I was hating on this album. Wasn't going to buy it, felt like "Without Me" was just proof positive that he had lost whatever edge he was worth. It was just another "The Real Slim Shady", and to a large extent it is, but after hearing "Cleaning Out My Closet" and "White America" I realized this was more like his darker tracks than his TRL friendly stuff. I finally broke down and bought it tonight. It's incredibly mature from a cat that's supposed to be hiding from maturity. The beats are strong and full bodied and decidedly not usual "Dre." There is a reason beyond his skin color and his attractiveness that he is successful and important. He is incredibly self-aware, an amazing lyricist and the greater voice that peaks out on occasion on his two earlier LP's is in front on this album. Even on this first listen, its apparent. He may claim that nobody wants to hear Marshall no more but by all indications, this is Marshall at his rawest. Slim Shady and his youthful anarchy is relegated to skits. Marshall has taken that "break stuff" attitude and turned it into reflective rage and recognition. And I'm recognizing as well...
Recognizing while I read this amazing piece that really gets at what The Roots are, what they mean to a lot of "headz" and what they mean to each other. This isn't ?uestlove putting out the public face of the Legendary Roots Crew, the face that appeals to everyone worldwide, and its not Black Thought being a little grimy, a lotta street, and the standoffish artist that appeals to the hardcore niggas that ain't trying to hear all that live music backpacker shit unless folks are representin' the real. Its not that. Its the truth about Malik B, the musician attitude of Hub and Kamal, the excitement of young Ben Kinney and the reality of Scratch and his not very well received solo joint.
I can't finish the piece. I'm just fiending too much for Phrenology right now. I want to watch Spike Lee movies with the sound turned off and my headphones on. But will it be Eminem showing White America its own face or will it be The Roots reminding me that Things Fall Apart?
Do You Want More??!!!
Nah, you're getting the Silent Treatment.
"I'm so into you" - Stateless
The New Times in San Luis Obispo hold's a World's Shortest Stories contest each year. You have to write a story with 55 words or less. I'm still too wordy to get there yet but this is my attempt at a short short.
Addendum: Ya'll know I don't edit when I post the first time, right? I just write and get it up and then come back later...so after some good criticism from a friend, what is here now is the edited version of "Restless Night"...
"I'm going to fuck you up with my verbal numbchucks" - Jazzanova featuring Ursula Rucker
I also wanted to note that I'm offering a mix CD trade right now. I send you my Central High Mix (track list below) and you send something in exchange. I'll take just about anything.
Central High Mix
Inspired by Vikter Duplaix's upcoming solo release--which doesn't have a release date yet but I believe is on k7 records--and King Britt presents Scuba: Hidden Treasures. Central High is a South Philly High School that has produced many of my favorite artists in the last decade. These tracks focus on Duplaix and King Britt just because I love the music they make.
Runtime: 60 Minutes
"Since I met you, I've found the world so blue..." - The Avalanches
So, Sprint PCS took $105 from me and then disconnected me (I ranted but didn't give the details). So, I called them on Sunday and was like "What the dilly, yo?" and the lady was all "We don't have record" and I was like "Yo, check the technique, them bones is out my account" and she was all "got some confirmation numbers?" and I was all "Does a bear piss in the woods?" and she was all "No record of those payments" and I was all "Do you want me to put my foot in your ass?" and she was all "Well, I'll do a temporary credit and an investigation sheet" and I was like "So I'm reconnected?" and she's all "Well, I don't know how much you owed" and I'm like "Its involuntary really but my foot is on a trajectory towards your posterior. When it gets there its going to swivel and stomp. I guarantee that shit." and she was all "OK, Mr. Toney, service restored."
Suffice it to say, 3 years of bad customer service is enough. I love sprint's phones. Samsung and Qualcomm make nice cellulars that are sleek and geeky enough. They also are pretty good to me with coverage and what not and my plan is amazing. But...I've never been able to download new rings. They charge me for text messaging. Their website is whickity whack and I've never been able to get them to be quite right with my account. So the search is on for new cellular service.
"city governments are eternally dampin/ trapped in gritty governance causing urban collapsin'/ bullets that scar souls/ with dark holes/ get more than your car stole/ some parts be blacker than charcoal. This society's deprivation depends/ not on our differences but on separation within. No reparation is paid/ limited aid/ minimum wage/ living in a tenement cage/ where rent isn't paid/ tragedy within a parade/ while darkness spreads like a permanent plague." - Chali 2na on Linkin Park's Frgt/10
old posts with new comments:
my struggle with hip-hop
the pimpification of our children
I was tempted to talk about something of some social significance this morning. Yeah, no.
Instead, let's do weekend conversations and one-liners:
going to the baseball game:
chris: so what you wanna do is you wanna go straight. Oh..bad word. I mean you want to go forward. Keep going forward. *sigh* That line works so much better when I'm in a room full of fags.
tracy: oh, its working pretty good in here too.
during the baseball game:
6 year old sitting in front of us as his father comes back with food: LOSER DAD! LOSER DAD! IT'S LOSER DAD!
tracy: I can't wait til I see my father tonight. He's got a new nickname.
me: I feel like Marquis Grissom would be better suited for a very special guest appearance on Sanford & Son or like the surprise uncle on Diff'rent Strokes.
jenny: Really? I always think he's like a pimp on Hookers at the Point.
me: Okay, now I'm just really wondering what he would look like in a fedora and a green full length fur coat. On 2nd base.
jenny: I love Hookers at the Point. You late? You date? Somebody said that to me once.
me: I love the narrator. "Her name is honey. She's about the money. Fast cars. Slow burn. Bad johns. Quick to learn."
chris: That little boy has a gold tooth.
me: bling bling.
chris: Its like his baby tooth. Why would any one do that to a little kid?
me: come on, that's fly. He was going to wear his Mr. T chains too but its too hot today. I pity the fo...
at coach and horses:
jenny: ...so this one homeless woman who comes in all the time was so rank. It was just horrible, you could smell her arrival before she actually appeared.
me: Really? You should give her my number. I can't afford a trainer so I figured I'd pay a homeless person 5 bucks to scare and chase me every day.
jenny attempts to continue her story...
me: I'm serious. 5 bucks and a new pair of kicks. All they have to do is scare me at different points during the day. Its a good gig. Honest work. If she smells, I might run farther.
"Turn my headphones up..." - Nas
If you see me this week you will likely notice the following:
This is all in an attempt to maintain my sanity. I'm going to try to rock my favorite things as much as possible. But if that fails, I have a 6 pack of skyy blue in the fridge, pop tarts and snack stix in the cupboard (along with popcorn and pretzels) and edamame in the freezer. I might have to stop reading RL's Dream though cuz I'm trying hard to not let the blues get me down.
Which probably means a lot of fiction and random observations here this week and less social commentary and discussion. I have lots of things from this weekend to discuss but that'll be for the A.M. I think. I have a dog looking real annoyed that I haven't walked him in many hours. So we're going out.
Maybe you should too. Only stay if you can make me smile. Like melly and her red wine red pants booty shank portrait or trish and her "wally world does sell panties pics (scroll down a bit). I don't know about you but for me, the week before labor day is always bootylicious. And I'm ready for that jelly because jam don't jiggle like that. Its shakin' and I want to know if fries go with that shake cuz you know, I'm an Atomic Dawwwohwaaaaagggg. Bah bah bah bahdap...doo doo doo dooo doo doo doo woooooowwwww.....
And Jen, I saw Summer Catch today. 10 times? You should be ashamed of yourself. Although it did have Brittany Murphy in it so that's something...and Willmer...okay, 2 redeeming qualities in a horrid, horrid film. You would laugh at the fat jokes. You're evil, man. Straight evil.
"Time, time, time...all we need is time. Truth and time save my mind." - Al Green
I hate sprint pcs. So much right now they don't even get a link. Bastards. I also hate a customer support system that isn't supported by humans. And a customer support system that when you do finally get to talk to a human, they can't really help you. In fact, they put the onus on you to provide them with information that they should have readily available and that you as the consumer shouldn't have to be responsible. And I hate that your computer generated customer support lies. I call you people once every 2 months or so, I've had this service for going on 3 years. How can you be upgrading your system every day for 3 years? How can you tell me that the website is having a technical upgrade every day for 3 years and that's why it doesn't recognize my log in? Why when I leave messages for web tech support no one ever calls back? Why does no one ever answer the phone there? Why did I pay my entire bill in full yesterday and yet I don't have phone service now? Explain this to me? Like I'm a 3 year old. Or don't explain, just kiss my ass. Mmmkay. Thank you.
I really want to buy Jaguar today but until my phone situation is figured out, I can't spend that 130 bucks. I did, however, buy NBA Shootout 2002 for the playstation and Tropico for the mac. NBA Shootout is fun but I lose...all the time. Tropico isn't all that stable in Mac OS X but its a good game.
So...before I open up new cans of worms...George, as usual, has provided me with some fun addendums to recent topics.
"Did you get excited when you saw that ad for an S.U.V. in the remote wilderness?" the text on the fake ticket read. "Did you want to sue the manufacturer for false advertising when you started driving it to the shopping center instead?" It went on — at some length — to castigate S.U.V.'s for their gasoholic tendencies and S.U.V. drivers for buying them.
"Think about it!" the flier said. "Why do you need such a HUGE car? This is not a militarized zone!" It accused the driver of "polluting more than your fair share."
Challenging the owners of S.U.V.'s isn't new. In Manhattan, vigilantes have been putting crude fliers trumpeting accusations like "Your car is a killer" on S.U.V.'s for at least two years, and in Brooklyn, a magazine editor organized a protest in which a number of "No S.U.V. Parking" signs were placed on a street last December.
But the phenomenon appears to be growing in size and intensity. Mr. Edmonds and Ms. Benson were working with Earth on Empty, a group concerned about air pollution and global warming that has begun distributing professionally designed and mass-produced ticket look-alikes in a score of states.
As Miss Nightingale rolls her eyes and struts her stuff, Wolfe shifts the emotional action of the show away from the Barefoot Prophet and the Clarion Caller's New Age African-Americans, swathed in a sort of spiritual kente cloth, to the New Negroes. Negroes have a style that is markedly different from that of African-Americans. Negroes do not wear turbans or head rags outside the house; they wear hats, cocked to the side, a visual indicator of real style—a style that encompasses both the black and the white American experience, rather than limiting itself to the dreary Pan-Africanism of colored people whose relationship to Africa is about as deep as the Eskimos'. The Negro makes do with what he has—and then he flaunts it.
An orderly array of shoes lined up outside a private room with walls of tatami, rice straw matting, where customers sit on fabric floor cushions around four tiny tables, is a reminder that this is, after all, a Japanese club. But the youthful presence, along with the area's scattering of authentic Japanese pop culture shops, makes it clear that this isn't anything like downtown L.A.'s Little Tokyo or Gardena's Japanese neighborhoods. Sawtelle Boulevard, from Olympic to Santa Monica boulevards, is for the young.
Think of it as a dollhouse version of Japan Town, U.S.A., where a cluster of restaurants and stores nudge one another along a street that looks sedate during the day but where boba tea houses and karaoke studios with private rooms buzz well into the wee hours. It's also a hub for alternative pop media, with shops trading in used manga--novel-length Japanese comics--and the locally famous Video Addict rental store, which specializes in Asian films.
Little Tokyo, the oldest and largest of Japanese communities in Los Angeles, is museum-like by comparison, swathed in multiple layers of Japanese American history. To young, homesick natives of Japan, it's just not happening. Clusters of Japanese businesses are also found in Gardena and Torrance, where eateries have sprung up to feed hungry salarymen from nearby Japanese corporations.
Sawtelle, however, thrives on Japanese food and pop culture, a lure for explorers from East and West.
I'll be your best friend.
Addendum: I've added inline extended entries and that's pretty cool. I tried to add inline comments but it got funky and I'm not in the mood to try real hard. Now...I think I want to use my main page design for my individual entries...gotta think some more about how to go about that one.
Thanks to everyone who suggested scriptygoddess.com. Goddesses indeed.
"Wish I had a way to prove that love exists" - Aquanote
Work sucks. It has sucked all week. Its the suckiest suck that ever sucked a suck in suckland. I'm about over it. Really getting there. At this point where I just want to scream. In fact I did scream. In the car. Last night. After watching some monologue-y sketch comedy that ran from poor to excellent with some really bad music at the beginning and end. Oh and after 4 belvedere gimlets. And some flirting with the cute but far too blonde girl at Daddy's who wanted me to help her choose some drinks and enjoyed my running commentary of the really sad attempt at flirtation by the guys next to me towards the girls also, uh, next to me.
balding guy: Let me guess...apple martini and vodka cranberry?
farrah hair, great smile: Yup. That's right.
sort of cute guy except for that thing on his cheek, what is that? a growth? a mole? its too dark in here: So, how do you two know each other?
a little thin but incredible with the wifebeater and the short 'do: we're both actresses and take a class together.
balding guy: bartender? another round for the ladies...on me.
farrah hair, great smile (winks at wifebeater and never looks at balding guy): Yeah, we actually think we might be related. I'm Paulina Shore and she's Dinah Shore, but all my friends call me Pauly. You can call me Pauly.
sort of cute guy except for that thing on his cheek, what is that? a growth? a mole? its too dark in here: Pauly Shore? Like the actor?
farrah hair, great smile: What actor? There's an actress named Pauly Shore? I'll have to change my name when I join SAG, Dinah. Isn't that sad?
balding guy: So, your name is Dinah? That's very unique. I don't meet many Dinah's.
a little thin but incredible with the wifebeater and the short 'do: Oh, we're around. We're around.