"Steppin' into tomorrow, got both feet on the ground" - Madlib, Steppin' Into Tomorrow (Shades of Blue)
In Karen Brichoux's Coffee & Kung Fu, the main character, Nicci, isn't out there searching for someone to marry, to date, to be with on a regular basis. She wants to believe that she is stronger than needing that. She clings to her independence like a badge of honor. It is as if she has fought a war to get to the point where she is comfortable enough in her own skin to not need someone else in her life to tell her she's okay. She likes herself. She's confident in who she is as a person, or at least who she perceives herself to be, but in the quiet of night, in the moments when the armor she has built around herself cracks, she reveals the truth.
She's also often caught in situations in which she must make a choice. A choice to say what she's really thinking or to stay silent and live with the commentary in her head.
She wonders one night: What would I do if I were braver?
I can relate.
The wonderful muted clang of the keys onThe Philadelphia Experiment, Ain't It The Truth (The Philadelphia Experiment)
"Maybe I'll make out with all my boys," she said.
I replied, "and since I can't drink tonight, I'll be able to remind you of everything that happened."
"Why can't you drink tonight...oh, you have ten miles to run in the morning."
"That's right. So, I'm not drinking and I'm not going to be there too late."
"Who are you going to make out with?" she asked as if that was a valid question. I ignored it and we moved on to other conversations of the innocuous.
"Kids get down underground, everybody dancing to the funky sound" - Jamiroquai, Kids (Return of the Space Cowboy)
Marco's doppelganger played guitar in the band before his at The Derby Tuesday night. His hair a little more Beat the Geeks than Marco's, his body a little more muscular, obviously a result of living the harsh life that must exist in the bizarro dimension he was from. As Ocram's set ended, Marco climbed onto the stage and the two turned to each other and saw one another for a brief moment.
I shielded my eyes expecting the rip in the space-time continuum that Star Trek has been preparing me for all my life. Nothing happened. Not even a flash of lightning or a crackle of thunder as the two talked to each other comfortably, as if they'd known each other all their lives.
All their lives?
"El Hombro, se procede a abrir los ojos...y used estará a mirando de lado" - Kinky, Mirando De Lado (Kinky)On apologies - I don't think I'm really looking for apologies or contrition or any of that. More, I'm just frustrated by the idea that I'm probably always going to have to deal with the legacy of slavery from my perspective but that the majority of people don't have to if they don't want to. It's probably a lot of the same frustration I felt around this time last year.
On Kobe Bryant - I have no comments about the case. I don't really know either party and I have no desire to consider his guilt or innocence and convict or acquit him in my head. I just know that at best he's a cheating punk ass and at worst he's a raping punk ass. Either way, he's a punk ass and I'm dissapointed and sad in what he's done. I'm also supremely aware of how young he really is (and we're talking maturity rather than physical age here even though both could apply). And I'm annoyed that despite my supreme efforts in trying not to care about the situation...I do.
On running - 9 miles was easily my best run and I felt the best that I've ever felt post-training after the 2 hours and 11 minutes it took on Saturday. This all probably means I'm going to hit the wall at 10 miles this upcoming week but I'm all about running. As Cecily notes, endorphins are no joke.
On music - After The Storm is growing on me. Madlib, Jazzanova, and Annie Lennox are all killing it. White Flag (courtesy of the hsw and limewire) by Dido is very, very welcome and not nearly enough of her for me at this point. I'm not sure how I feel about the Kinky disc. I like being able to listen to them when I want but they have so much more energy live.
On my sister - She's learning to drive. Be afraid. She loves Fame: The Series and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I miss Fame: The Series from The Eighties and it really bothers me that she wasn't even born when it was on. I took her school supply shopping and as we were in the notebook aisle I asked, "Where are all the Trapper Keepers?" She responded, "What's a Trapper Keeper?"
"I'm sick of you, i'm through with you, i'm tired of you." - Monica, Ain't Gonna Cry No More (After the Storm)
So R. Kelly, outside of putting out an album called Chocolate Factory, has produced 3 other hits for other artists this year. B2K's Bump, Bump, Bump, JV's Ice Cream, and now Marques Houston's Pied Piper.
For a guy who used to be in a group called Immature?
After writing songs for the current underage heartthrobs and a group of ladies called Junior Varsity?
And he's going on tour?
How soon until we hear songs called Pajama Party or Girl Scout Troop or Little Brownie Touched My Ding-Dong because she was a Ho-Ho? Or just put out an album called Your Daughter's Aren't Safe Because I'm a Fucking Pedophile?
Did I give up before? Anyway, I'm giving up again because obviously a banging beat is more important than just about everything else.
"Coming up on re-election day" - Arcadia, Election Day (Sedated in the Eighties)
It's been a very eighties week for me. I'm hoping that I'm just waxing nostalgic and not moving into that realm of "old" in which I can only listen to the "classics" from my youth. I'm pretty sure it's just wax though because while I love Hot 92 Jamz' ability to string together Micheal Jackson's Rock with You with Ashanti's Rock Wit' U and follow it up with Bobby Brown's Tender Roni, I just can't listen to the station all the time. I need fresh music.
"I washed up in a rusted world with eyes shut." - Linkin Park, FRGT/10 (Reanimation)Cathy Tamkin had a really nice set on Pop Secret last night and she made my evening with a good 15 minutes straight of Duran Duran remixes. Did you know there's a big anniversary show next week? Skits did. Too bad she's going to miss it for spanish class. Eve, on the other hand, will not be missing it.
I think Cathy Tamkin is my secret radio girlfriend. Maybe she'll google her name and slip me the digits. Or call the cops.
Either or, really.
Just some kind of recognition would be nice.
Ok, not the cops.
I'm not about them being all up in my grill for real.
"How could I be so immature?" - Björk, Immature (Homogenic)
Each week we're running for somebody or some thing. CAP came up to me before she was going to make announcements and said she was going to read off who I was running for but that she was going to hold one because somebody else is running for him and we might have a special guest to commemorate that. I was feeling like it was going to be a bad run prior to that as 8 miles is no joke. We were going from Santa Monica to the Marina proper and back again in an hour and fifty two minutes. But then CAP stood in front of our run group and said, "Today's people that we're running for was suggested by Jason and so we're running for EJ and Donald who are both living with the disease and for all those who support those with HIV and AIDS on a daily basis and, thus, are also living with the disease, so we're also running for Mike and the rest of the boys of the D.I.C. and don't ask Jason what D.I.C. stands for because he still doesn't know."
So I decided to have a good run.
The calves are screaming though.
And This is Not a Remix - You can still support me and this marathon thang and AIDS Project Los Angeles by clicking right here.