"When I opened my eyes it was all in front of me." - Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings, I Learned The Hard Way
December 17 – Lesson Learned
What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?
(Author: Tara Weaver)
I learned that I'm not as good as reading other people's cues as I like to think I am. I learned not assume that people walk through the world and process situations the same way I do and that it's important for me to recognize when those divergent view points are leading towards conflict.
I've learned to listen more. Really listen. To try my best to not have an opinion or an assumed answer when I ask a question.
Going forward, the goal is to not try to win every conversation. This is hard. I'm very much a "Saunders" in this regard. My mother and a couple of her siblings and my grandfather all are or were prone to argue famously. We like it. We tend to not take heated debate personally even when the words get harsh or too real. They are all quick witted and learned and convinced they are right even when they are so wrong.
I'm just like them.
That leads to great fun and entertainment when we're around each other or other like-minded folks. For others, though, trying to debate with me is prone to get your feelings hurt even when that's not my intent.
I just want to win.
I'm just convinced I'm right. Even when I'm wrong, I'm right.
And I like the art and spirit of debate. It's like a great workout for my brain.
But I don't mean to hurt your feelers.
And everything isn't a debate.
So in 2011, I'm going to try my damnedest to understand when something is just a conversation and not a debate and I'll shut up more often and be open to alternate theories and approaches to life.
Unless you're just totally wrong.
I just can't cotton to wrongheadedness. And I will need to tell you about yourself.