"I can be loved." - RJD2, Ring Finger
I'm getting used to wearing a ring. For most of the week, I found myself playing with it constantly, accidentally hitting it on things, tapping it on things as my own personal percussive instrument. Sometime yesterday, though, I started to feel it as more a part of myself rather than a new accoutrement. It isn't forgotten, though. I still notice how it glints in the light. I wear it to bed and worry about accidentally injuring myself or others with it's weight and edges. But, it's worth the risk. Last week, I made some commitments and it is a great and wonderful reminder of those promises.
I vow to challenge you to go after your dreams. I vow to always ask, “why not?”; to remind you it’s okay to play, it’s okay to fail, and it’s okay to do things just because. I vow to support your passions. I vow to be open to you. To share my thoughts and feelings and fears and worries. I I vow to walk this Earth with you hand in hand for as long as I am able and to love you for longer than that. And for the rest of our lives, I vow to bring joy and laughter to your life every chance I get.
And, here are two pieces that Lynne said as she presided over our union:
Love Is by Nikki Giovanni
Some people forget that love is
tucking you in and kissing you
no matter how young or old you are
Some people don't remember that
listening and laughing and asking
no matter what your age
Few recognize that love is
no fun at all
You and me
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
on marriage - kahlil gibran
I'm not sure what lies in the future that will compare to our wedding week but this week has been a pretty joyous one. I've delighted in hearing all the positivity that has entered into the lives of our loved ones in the days passing. I've enjoyed greatly reliving the experience through pictures and conversation. And, I've enjoyed the changes in our relationship since our formal joining of our lives. I didn't think much would change but, in small yet wonderfully meaningful ways, it has. Like one of the cards we received, we're actively making a home together; we're making time for each other (holding hands, climbing trees, bringing joy); we're making memories; and, we're making mistakes...at least I know I am (still haven't picked up those contact lenses for her as requested).
And, as you see above, I've made promises, commitments that, despite all the Rapture talk of the week, invest in our future, in the infinite possibilities of tomorrow, and in the celebration of how great right now is.
The Week In Review
- The Best Thing I Saw This Week: When not looking at wedding pictures over and over again, I was in love with Game of Thrones.
- The Best Thing I Heard This Week: While I spent a lot of time with James Brown this week, my head is still in N'awlins so let's go with Big Freedia's Azz Everywhere and Katy Red's Where Da Melph At?
- The Best Thing I Read This Week: Can you believe I'm still reading The City & The City?
- The Thing I Read This Week That Most Resonated:
It reminds me of the “bike to work” movement. That is also portrayed as white, but in my city more than half of the people on bike are not white. I was once talking to a white activist who was photographing “bike commuters” and had only pictures of white people with the occasional “black professional” I asked her why she didn’t photograph the delivery people, construction workers etc. … ie. the black and Hispanic and Asian people… and she mumbled something about trying to “improve the image of biking” then admitted that she didn’t really see them as part of the “green movement” since they “probably have no choice.”
Why? Because as a sometimes bike commuter, I marveled last week at the number of black folks on bikes in NOLA and then when I got back home, I looked around and realized I was really kind of "unseeing" the many folks of color who ride in my neighborhood and had, much like this quote, thought of the current bike movement as particularly white.