"You were my sunrays without you girl there was no days, never dreamed I'd speak the phrase, 'Now what the fuck just happened?'" - N*E*R*D, Stay Together (In Search Of...)
Umm, Hi, J.Lo? Could you please go away now? Not forever, mind. Just for like, 5 minutes, so I can have a moment of sanity.
You could take your boyfriend/fiance whatever with you. It's not that I dislike him, it's just that he has a giant head and he's blocking my view of, like, everything in the world. If he and David Hasselhoff stood at the North and South poles at the right times every day we'd be in eternal darkness from their blocking out both the sun and the moon. I know you need an abnormally sized head to be a star in the biz (effectively filling up the screen, commanding attention by your gargantuan features) and all, but damn. These two are like Rainbow Brite dolls. So top heavy I'm not sure they can stand up straight without support.
While you're at it, let's go on and get rid of George Clooney if he's going to star in more movies like Solaris. There is such a thing as too much Clooney. If he's not playing the smooth criminal or womanizer with a heart of gold, who cares? Him staring back at me from the screen with the 5 o'clock shadow for 2 hours does not a good movie make.
Hey, Soderbergh, you really can let the composer make some music to add drama to those scenes sometimes. The silent stuff...well, it's getting tired. 'Member when you had good music selections in Out of Sight and Ocean's 11? You can do that again...I like that. Silence in space with people hugging and staring and hugging and staring and not blinking? I took a nap man, that's all I'm saying.
My hand hurts.
To that end, this is a reminder that I am 27 and when I'm not dancing, I'm pretty clumsy. I should not be attempting to run up hills chasing my spry sister and our active dogs. Taking a wicked header in which I find myself covered in dirt and dust while laying on my stomach with my hands bleeding and busted and parts of my discman strewn across the pavement is the only possible result of this.
Ouch.
It's not good starting off December kinda broke with bills due. Sometimes I love getting paid weekly, sometimes I hate it.
Shoo, fly (girl) don't bother me. The 5 minutes isn't up yet.
I want a good party to go to. I want a good book to read. I want somebody to want me. Or maybe I want to want somebody.
You did know that actors and actresses tend to have, literally, large heads, right? Or, at least, large features. A big nose, big eyes, stark cheek bones, big teeth, big chin, big ears. something, anything that will draw your eyes. Something that forces you to ignore the background in a scene. When you meet these people in person, you go, Jesus Christ on a Pogo Stick that's a big head. You might quote So I Married an Axe Murderer. You might sing songs and replace key phrases with "head" or "melon" or "damn son, overactive glands much?"
You might.
Hi, J to the L.O. is it? I know you're from the block and all, so could you run around it about 20 times and not make a peep or show up in a store, movie or video while you're doing it? Thanks a bunch.