Jason Toney

Dov' unity & togetherness?

"You keep talking all that crap but...I ain't trippin'" - Too $hort, I ain't trippin' (Life is..Too $hort)

Right now you want to know about the students of Clone High

Human cloning. Banned by the world's most respected governments. Even Canada. But sixteen years ago, an underground group of scientists secretly extracted the DNA of the world's most celebrated personalities, and had them cloned. These clones, now 16 years old, walk the corridors of our most venerable and sacred institution: High School. One particular high school, in fact, deviously concealed under the name: Clone High.

I laughed at the premiere episode. It's the absolute right kind of obnoxiousness and irreverence that tickles my fancy. And lord knows I need my fancy tickled. Not everyone agrees with me...

Chief Minister of Haryana state, Om Prakash Chautala, led the protest in New Delhi. He says the MTV show and the magazine cartoon have hurt millions of Indians, who refer to Mr. Gandhi as the "Mahatma" or "great soul." "We strongly condemn all such activity," he said. "It is an attack on our national honor."... Politicians are not the only ones angry about the MTV show. The Gandhi Peace Foundation promotes Mr. Gandhi's principles and ideal. Its spokesman, Rajiv Vora, said only a "consumerist and licentious" Western society would mock the image of one of the world's great leaders. "In American society moral limits are undefined," he said, "undefined in the sense that you can violate any limit on the altar of reason and on the altar of materialism. They have no sense of inviolability of certain principles of life, certain ethics of life."- Voice of America

I don't know. I did download the screensaver, though.

In the Feb/March issue of oneworld, the spanish fly issue, there's tons of good stuff including interviews with John Leguizamo, Omahrya Mota Garcia, and The one Graffiti Artist you must know. Respect the Technique...

When you have these feelings, that you have no control, that are very intense, when you're down and out, it brings out a certain flavor that you can't get any other time in your life. And I kind of like it. I'm kind of in maybe a secret love affair with it. I've created some of my best work when I was really alone. Well, I'm always alone. I always feel that when I'm creating I'm totally alone. But when I start to get...when the piece starts to take shape and form and matter, I start to lighten up and start my own audience within myself. So I'm almost like mimicking what people are going to feel when they see it in a gallery or wherever they're going to see it. Whether it's on the other side of a train, or a wall, or on a gallery wall.

Yeah, that's Lee Quinones answering a question from interviewer Annabella Sciorra. She mentions Peter Panto off-handedly in some questions thrown back at her. Peter Panto?

Peter Panto (1911-1939), a rank-and-file longshoreman and union activist who worked on the Red Hook docks on Columbia Street, Brooklyn. Panto led a rank-and-file revolt against the crooked leadership of International Longshoremen's Union (ILA) in the guise of union president Joseph P. Ryan (known by dockworkers as “King Joe”) and crime boss Albert Anastasia.

Oh.

After a series of confrontations, the 28-year-old Panto was lured from his home on July 14, 1939 to be kidnapped and strangled on Anastasia’s orders. His body was not found until the following year.

Damn.

Anyway, oneworld and elemental magazine both feature former members of the digable planets this month. King Britt is DJ/Producer/Artist Extraodinaire and Mecca aka Ladybug are both about to drop solo joints in the coming months. First for Mecca as a solo artist and the first from Britt that focuses on hip-hop. Should be hot sauce.

Meanwhile, I'm marvelling at the number of phat farm ads in the mag (always forgetting that Mr. Simmons owns the joint) and noticing how cute these baby phat kids clothes really are and coming upon the Phat Farm reparations ad/shoe campaign. Went searching for articles or opinions on the marketing/politics practice (isn't honda or somebody doing something similar in black lifestyle mags?) and couldn't find anything. Surprised me...I just assumed that somebody would've taken notice in the mainstream media but not in my quick perusal of google.

Dov' unity & togetherness?

"You keep talking all that crap but...I ain't trippin'" - Too $hort, I ain't trippin' (Life is..Too $hort)

Right now you want to know about the students of Clone High

Human cloning. Banned by the world's most respected governments. Even Canada. But sixteen years ago, an underground group of scientists secretly extracted the DNA of the world's most celebrated personalities, and had them cloned. These clones, now 16 years old, walk the corridors of our most venerable and sacred institution: High School. One particular high school, in fact, deviously concealed under the name: Clone High.

I laughed at the premiere episode. It's the absolute right kind of obnoxiousness and irreverence that tickles my fancy. And lord knows I need my fancy tickled. Not everyone agrees with me...

Chief Minister of Haryana state, Om Prakash Chautala, led the protest in New Delhi. He says the MTV show and the magazine cartoon have hurt millions of Indians, who refer to Mr. Gandhi as the "Mahatma" or "great soul." "We strongly condemn all such activity," he said. "It is an attack on our national honor."... Politicians are not the only ones angry about the MTV show. The Gandhi Peace Foundation promotes Mr. Gandhi's principles and ideal. Its spokesman, Rajiv Vora, said only a "consumerist and licentious" Western society would mock the image of one of the world's great leaders. "In American society moral limits are undefined," he said, "undefined in the sense that you can violate any limit on the altar of reason and on the altar of materialism. They have no sense of inviolability of certain principles of life, certain ethics of life."- Voice of America

I don't know. I did download the screensaver, though.

In the Feb/March issue of oneworld, the spanish fly issue, there's tons of good stuff including interviews with John Leguizamo, Omahrya Mota Garcia, and The one Graffiti Artist you must know. Respect the Technique...

When you have these feelings, that you have no control, that are very intense, when you're down and out, it brings out a certain flavor that you can't get any other time in your life. And I kind of like it. I'm kind of in maybe a secret love affair with it. I've created some of my best work when I was really alone. Well, I'm always alone. I always feel that when I'm creating I'm totally alone. But when I start to get...when the piece starts to take shape and form and matter, I start to lighten up and start my own audience within myself. So I'm almost like mimicking what people are going to feel when they see it in a gallery or wherever they're going to see it. Whether it's on the other side of a train, or a wall, or on a gallery wall.

Yeah, that's Lee Quinones answering a question from interviewer Annabella Sciorra. She mentions Peter Panto off-handedly in some questions thrown back at her. Peter Panto?

Peter Panto (1911-1939), a rank-and-file longshoreman and union activist who worked on the Red Hook docks on Columbia Street, Brooklyn. Panto led a rank-and-file revolt against the crooked leadership of International Longshoremen's Union (ILA) in the guise of union president Joseph P. Ryan (known by dockworkers as “King Joe”) and crime boss Albert Anastasia.

Oh.

After a series of confrontations, the 28-year-old Panto was lured from his home on July 14, 1939 to be kidnapped and strangled on Anastasia’s orders. His body was not found until the following year.

Damn.

Anyway, oneworld and elemental magazine both feature former members of the digable planets this month. King Britt is DJ/Producer/Artist Extraodinaire and Mecca aka Ladybug are both about to drop solo joints in the coming months. First for Mecca as a solo artist and the first from Britt that focuses on hip-hop. Should be hot sauce.

Meanwhile, I'm marvelling at the number of phat farm ads in the mag (always forgetting that Mr. Simmons owns the joint) and noticing how cute these baby phat kids clothes really are and coming upon the Phat Farm reparations ad/shoe campaign. Went searching for articles or opinions on the marketing/politics practice (isn't honda or somebody doing something similar in black lifestyle mags?) and couldn't find anything. Surprised me...I just assumed that somebody would've taken notice in the mainstream media but not in my quick perusal of google.

366 days

"I pretend cuz I'm afraid to be, 'fraid to be, sometimes, 'fraid, sometimes" - Bilal, Sometimes (1st Born Second)

So, yesterday a year ago, this site was born with these words...

I feel like I'm habitually an alter-ego. But if I ever do become a superhero, my name will be 'The Negroid' - me

That still really works for me. There have been 233 entries, approximately 2600 comments, and, apparently, I'm one of the go-to guys to discuss underwear ads in the black community. This site has been referred to in articles at Slate and in print form by The Washington Post. I started a blogging community controversy. Yes, I am the evil de-linker. I met amazing black people that are my peers, which is a big deal, as I knew very few in the real world. I met cool people of all walks of life (although, without fail they seem to be pretty damn Queer. Queer-gay, Queer-straight, but most of all Queer-Positive, which seems to be the one running similarity between all of the sites I link to). And just because people ask me on a pretty regular basis and are shocked to find out that I'm not what they think I am: I am Queer-straight and Queer-positive. I just can't watch Queer as Folk.

Which probably didn't clear up anything unless you've been reading this place for awhile and know how I think.

Because of this site, I met Lynne. Lynne gave me my first real paying writing gig. She also peeped me to another location where I write on occasion.

Because of this site, I met KD. An off-the-cuff remark by me led to her creating WAM! I should post there more often.

One of the few blog-type folks I've met in real life is Skits. She let's me write about television at snarkfest! I should also post there more often.

Mostly through the other negro (no, not that negro, the other one), I've met the fabulous writers and people Hanne and Heather.

Melly is still my secret internet girlfriend and Michelle and Monique are still my internet best friends.

I never imagined that this would be a way to meet intriguing people. Never imagined that it would alter my life. I did imagine, however, that it would improve my writing. It has.

i touch myself

"You ain't a friend of mine, You ain't no kin of mine" - 50 Cent, Wanksta (8 Mile Soundtrack)

The Pen Da Da gave me homemade mango body scrub for Christmas. My feet are sooo soft right now and my bathroom smells so good. Then Bink talked about a visit with a dermatologist and it got me to thinking about my bathroom protocol. I used to be the hop in-hop out brother. Wash the hair real quick, condition every once in awhile and keep on steppin'. Back in the day, when I was living with ex-girl, I didn't need to smell especially good because she couldn't smell. I wasn't a cologne buyer. Didn't much matter what deoderant I wore or didn't wear. But, when that Axe body spray came out, I picked up a bottle, sprayed it on some areas...and got compliments. Whoa, smelling good is, like, important.

Smooth skin is also important and I'm realizing how chapped my lips are, so I laid down some bones this weekend and picked up some items from my favorite beauty products company...Freeman.

Of particular interest right now is the peacemaker body polish. You need to stick two fingers into the jar. One finger isn't enough to moisten the sugar crystals with the natural oils and juices sitting on top of them. The smell wafts over the lip of the jar. A smirk appears on my face. My skin quivers with anticipation. There's some pain when you touch it to your skin but it's a good pain. The kind of pain one might beg for. And then afterwards, the smell. Oh, the smell.

Ummm yeah. Didn't realize how erotic an experience is was for me until right now.

I'm also using Johnson's baby oil in the shower after the testimonial of a princess. But, I'm sorry, I won't be using baby wipes to wipe my ass, thank you very much.

Is this a post about masturbation?

Damn.

i might be obsessed...

"Oh where's my kitty cat, where's my kitty cat at?" - Naughty by Nature featuring 3LW, err, 2LW, Feels Good (Iicons)

Quick notes: Ivy at the Shore is a wonderful place to eat but there is far too much food on the fish and chips plate. Next time, I'm going to have an Ivy Gimlet with dinner and champagne with raspberries with dessert. Desserts there? Outstanding...Dimples. Wow. Sometimes the valley is scary. Sir Biff with his personalized hockey jersey, pink fuzzy antenna ears, and greasy mullet was, hmmm, Sir-real (apologies to those who've heard these jokes already). Karaoke is never like Duets. Never...Mama and Papa Actress throw a mean party. The Honky Slut Warrior, Southern Comfort and I closed it out. I think I stepped on somebody's fragile ego by mentioning vartanho.com. You just can't stop comedy. The Actress seemed to enjoy her weekend. Today, she's working here...Super Bowl was eh. I dug the Matrix and Charlie's Angels commercials. I'm still psyched about Hulk, but the overzealous digital animation has me nervous. I don't care to remember any of the rest. Oh. My. God.

Now, let's walk the plank...

still bumpin' and grindin'

"I feel like music sounds better with you. Love might bring us back together" - Stardust, Music Sounds Better With You (Music Sounds Better With You) So...

B2K's "Bump, Bump, Bump" featuring P. Diddy dances its way to the top of Billboard's Hot 100 thanks to a major spike in radio airplay. The single moves up one notch to end the 12-week run of Eminem's "Lose Yourself," which tumbles to No. 9, the largest fall by a chart-topper since 1989, when Phil Collins' "Two Hearts" fell to No. 10. "Bump, Bump, Bump" worked its way to the top of the chart over a 10-week period, and is performing slightly stronger on crossover radio than it is in urban markets. The cut is at No. 3 on Billboard's Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks count, behind R. Kelly's "Ignition" at No. 2 and Aaliyah's "Miss You," which is No. 1 for a second-straight week. - Billboard.com

In case you didn't know, R. Kelly wrote the B2K Track Bump, Bump, Bump. That means that he's #1 on the Hot 100 and #2 and #3 on the R&B Charts. Grammy Award winning R.Kelly, meanwhile, The Neptunes can't get a producer of the year nod despite having the most #1 singles of any producers last year. And are nice guys. R.Kelly, however, is allegedly not so nice...

It looks like Heaven isn’t off the hook yet because R. Kelly just might need another hug. The R&B singer, who only last year found himself in hot water with allegations of child pornography, has now been found in possession of 12 photographs of a nude minor. Kelly was arrested yesterday (January 22) in Florida where he was shooting a video for a remix of his latest single "Ignition." His bond was set at $12,000. - chartattack

Now, I know he's allegedly a nasty motherfucker but how many "allegedly" nasty motherfuckers do you let near your kids? If he was the "allegedly" nasty motherfucking janitor at the public school down the street, folks would be stringing him up. So, why is he writing songs for the B2K boys having them sing about "bump, bump, bump?" You do know the lyrics right?

but what about julia duffy?

"tuning in on you, right in on you, right in on you" - Groove Armada, Tuning In (Love Box)

Even though some people don't like Dave Chappelle, I'm a fan. Mostly because he's a risk taker with his comedy and incredibly honest and direct to the point of risking being offensive. But, alas, it's not for everyone. That said, last night's premiere of Chappelle's Show was fair to middlin' for the most part. Outside of the outstanding final skit

The last sketch, however, put me right away. In fact, I was laughing so loud that I drew a crowd. He does Clayton Bigsby, a blind, white supremacist and author who has no idea that he's black. If you never thought anything in the world would make you laugh at racist words, I'm here to tell you that you better have another think.

If it wasn't funny enough that Clayton's a black white supremacist, he's supposed to be being profiled by a stiff white guy for "Frontline," who also didn't realize Clayton was black until he finds him at his backwoods home.

When they try to tell him that he's actually a black man, he goes berserk spewing racist rhetoric. He yells racist stuff at white kids in a car whom he figures must be black because they're playing rap. I thought I'd have to be hospitalized I was laughing so hard. - What a (Race) Card by Linda Stasi

there weren't any great bits. I don't think the Kinkos bit was funny, necessarily, but I laughed because Michael Rappaport was in it. He always gets a chuckle out of me. Nobody can be that goofy and be down but he does it.

The final sketch, though, is exactly what comedy can do. It smartly showcases the absurdity of hate speech. By simply changing the players, Chappelle points a magnifying glass on both the power and weakness of words and how much it matters who says them.

He also just throws out the words "titties" and "Nigger" without batting an eyelash. This might be why I love cable. He explains in an interview with Kam Williams of Black World Today...

KW: Comedy Central lets you say anything?

DC: "I can't say absolutely anything I want, but they've been very gracious with the leeway they've given me. There's no comparison between the amount of freedom I have here and what I'd have at one of the major networks where you can't say anything. They have a committee so large, that has to approve what you're going to do, that by the time it makes it to TV, what started out as Richard Pryor-type material ends up looking like Urkel. But here at Comedy Central, they encourage me to pursue my point-of-view. You make less money on cable, but you get so much creative freedom, that I don't know if I could ever try to develop for a network again."

Yep, I love cable. The Shield gets to say "bullshit" a lot and Black Comedians have creative freedom. He mentions that the network show he was developing ended because he refused to let them cast his girlfriend as white for "Universal Appeal." "Universal Appeal" pisses me off. But maybe that's for a different post.

He also mentions Bob Newhart and his phone conversation bits. I didn't know that this was the hook of his comedy

Newhart's expertise in laugh management is apparent in The Button-Down Mind. "Abe Lincoln Vs. Madison Avenue" and "Merchandising The Wright Brothers" sound as fresh as the day they were recorded, because he was performing social satire that is still relevant. In "Abe Lincoln" he draws upon Vance Packard's book The Hidden Persuaders, an expos of the advertising and public relations mentality that creates empty images to sell shoddy products, including politicians. In the bit Newhart's spin doctor insists that Honest Abe gussy up his image with the beard and stove pipe hat and coaches him on hard-selling the Gettysburg Address.

but I do remember him being on the phone a lot in the eighties version of his sitcom, you know the one with larry, darryl and darryl. By the way, that bit up there in the blockquotes relates because Newhart performs it as if he is Lincoln's marketing agent talking to Lincoln on the phone. Particularly funny is him convincing Lincoln that it's a bad PR move to shave the beard. "It's your look, your gimmick, babe. It's got legs."

Speaking of funny people, haven't talked about Amy Sedaris much lately (do i want to pay the 7 dollars at Nerve to read the Naked Interview? Decisions, decisions...). She's got a book coming out -

Wigfield "is sort of a novel in a series of monologues with photographs" by fashion designer Todd Oldham, says Colbert. "It's a compendium," says Dinello. "It's a rubric!" builds Colbert. "An omnibus! Concavinations and vaginations of sentences..." "You forgot machinations!" reminds Sedaris. "And crenellations for the butter to collect in! It's much like Ulysses by James Joyce."

The three originally pitched a book inspired by a worm on one of Sedaris' old handbags. "There were about 12 people in suits at a really big conference table," remembers Dinello. "So I'm like, 'Yeah, there's this worm, we don't know what kind of worm it is, it's a dark children's book.'" "Ha!" says Colbert. "'It's a dark, children's book.' It's for refugee children." Sensing Hyperion's waning interest, Sedaris stepped in: "Growing up, my family used to decorate the top of the piano and call it Wigfield..."

Perhaps she'd be the privateer to my buccaneer. I bet she's kinky like that.

slowing down the car...

"People don't let money, don't let money change you. Almighty Dollar." - The O'Jay's, For the Love of Money (Love Train: The Best of The O'Jays)

It's mad busy out in the real world so, unfortunately, I'm not here to entertain you. There are about 8 million things I'm working on right now but you can check out my new baby. Launched today without much fanfare it's a little more sleek and smooth than my old joint. The real goodies are under the hood though.

I should note that I'm saddened by the demise of my favorite tv news website. Noted.

I also should note that while I'm not being all content heavy, Aaron, George, and Oliver are. If that's too many negroes for you, go visit Michelle and say hi. Just don't talk about Joan Osbourne. Let it go, Brits, let it go.

Why do I know the name Paul Weller? Has someone mentioned or played his music and I'm just drawing the big blank?

If I had any minutes of free time this weekend, I might very well go see Narc and 25th Hour. Doubtful that will happen though. I WILL be at Dimples Friday Night, however. You could come buy me a drink and then we could have lots of sex.

Like Pirates.

I'll wear my eye patch.

Aargh.

realizing...

"Living good and playing hard, cruising on the boulevard...so rough, so tough, out here baby" - Ronnie Hudson & The Street People, West Coast Poplock (ol' school funkin' hip hop 2)

This is the first in a series of logos (they'll get better over time, I'm just lazy today):

If you don't know where the subtitle came from, go here.

I'm not sure how one is active in a sex hunt when you're brizzoke. On this fine MLK weekend, a week when I got a raise, should be receiving a freelance check, and other cash-friendly things, I'm the brokest. It's a good thing I have a full tank of gas and food in the house so that I can spend this last 20 dollars on dinner with The HSW tomorrow.

So, yeah, the hunt for sex. I've got my fedora on and I'm wearing large amounts of khakhi with my shirt tousled and unbuttoned slightly. I've got the whip at the ready. I'm just not sure this is going to do much good when I'm spending most of the week on my couch attempting to follow a hacker through neo-Tokyo without getting noticed. Will women just come gliding into my apartment on vines to ravage me? This seems like a doubtful scenario...even though it seems like the kind of thing that happens all the time if you watch Playboy's Sexy Urban Legends.

It's become like a team sport, this sex hunt. All of my lady friends are offering assistance ranging from "maybe we won't hang out so much since, you know, we look like a couple when we're out" to inviting me to weddings because there will be cute girls there. Does hot sex happen often at weddings? And if I stop hanging out with lady friends won't I just be the alone guy at the bar?

I'm getting my suit tailored as we speak and I'm going to the ceremony by myself...just in case.

grandfather clauses

This is a spoken-word three person performance piece. Imagine me in a smoky coffeehouse with the lights turned low, a fair to middlin' mix of local art on the walls, a jazz trio in the shadows behind me to the left and a dreadloc'ed brotha on a stool behind me to the right looking angry as all get out...the spotlight turns to me.