i've got the sniffles

"Don't let him handle me and drive me mad." - Nina Simone, I Loves You, Porgy (Nina Simone's Finest Hour) There's been this push in R&B and Hip-Hop music over the last decade or so to make it okay to cheat. The #2 song in the country right now, 50 Cent's 21 Questions, asks: If I was with some other chick and someone happened to see? And when you asked me about it I said it wasn't me Would you believe me? Or up and leave me? How deep is our bond if that's all it takes for you to be gone? or how about Clipse in Ma, I Don't Love Her? If I don't know I don't know, lets not go that road I don't know who she is, don't care who told Look stop flippin', no need to explode I seen the number in the pager, I don't know that code In the streets too much, c'mon, that's absurd Gettin' no complaints when I be flippin' them birds Your girls just talk 'bout this that and the third Believe half what you see none of what you heard You askin' me who's her I'm askin' who's mink fur With that rock on her hand makin' their eyes blurred Could that be you plus who cop every gem Who spend like I spend, then act like it then Got the dream home and we settled in it Our lives too perfect that's why they meddle in it Now, just chalk it up as just part of the game You know who I'm about, who got part of my name? No. There's a toll to pay. Cheating is putting your life at risk. Cheating makes sane men and women go batshit. I'm about peace. Cheat on me, though, and I start thinking about knives and punching somebody in their left eye. I take priviledges away. Cheat on me and your little punk ass cheatin' partner is not allowed in the Valley unless he wants a butt whoopin' butt whoopin'. I don't care if he's the nicest guy. I don't care if you have a special connection. I don't care if he's curing SARS. He gets my foot on his chest if he steps in the arena. Because there is a price on that kind of pain. But, I understand. Some of ya'll, on top of being shiftless no account shady motherfuckers, are ignorant. You just don't know that your life is at risk when you do the things you do, say the things you say. So, I'm going to help you out. If you can't be a stand up human being and just talk to your man or woman about what's going on, here's how you deal with it so as to not get got.

1. Don't deny it. Your partner has already tracked your shit. We know what's happened. We have times and dates already. Your bullshit is just going to serve to fuel the fire.
2. Don't be proud. If you're really in love with your partner and you just slipped up, beg forgiveness, get your behavior right and do what needs to be done to try to get back what you've lost. If you come with, "But I don't think I can just break it off..." or "It's your fault this happened" you will get cut. I'm just trying to help you out. Help me help you.
3. Keep your secret lover way the fuck away from your #1. Not unless you want that person just beat down, tore up, and worse off than he/she ever deserved to be.
4. Get rid of all remnants of your secret life. At least give the illusion you're trying to work it out. If you're still holding on to the rose or CD homeboy/girl gave you, we're going to have a problem.
5. Take your medicine. You're the one that fucked up. Don't cop an attitude. If you don't like what's coming get the fuck out and let a heartbroken person be. If you're staying, though, you have to pay the piper so that the piper can get past the hurt.

and for the "other", I've got some tips for you, too. You're the one most at risk, really. See, for whatever reason, we love the asshole. We don't know you as anything except a homewrecker. The way you play this may very well determine your time in this world.

1. Don't reach out. We don't want to see you right now!
2. If we contact you, answer our questions and don't do anything else. Your safety depends on you being a not-so-innocent bystander who got caught up. You answer truthfully and without extras and you're going to be alright.
3. Don't give advice. You've known the person we've been in love with forever for like a month and you think you know something? You are just asking to be hurt.
4. Hide. I'm serious. We might have kids with the asshole. We don't know you.
5. Pray. See above.

I'm not even in a relationship right now and cheaters are still pissing me off. People are so damn stupid.

At least Biggie understood the costs: Any plans with another bitch, my bitch'll spoil it One day, she used my toothbrush to clean the toilet (that's nasty) Throwin my clothes out the windows, so when the wind blows I see my Polos and Timbos Hide my car keys so I can't leave A real slick bitch, keep a trick up her sleeve And if I deceive, she won't take it lightly She'll invite me, politely, to fight G And then we lie together, cry together I swear to God I hope we fuckin die together or, more directly [Girl] Let me tell you nigga, if I ever, ever catch your ass fuckin around I'ma cut your mother-fuckin dick off [Puff Daddy] Hah, heheh stop playin, hah [Girl] I ain't playin, ain't no jokes, ain't no jokes Ain't no jokes [Puff Daddy] Yo, don't don't play with my dick In other news: I've seen Reloaded and I'm withholding comment until I see it again tonight. And I'm worried about a loved one. And I've got the sniffles. Damnit.