"I want an everyday girl/wanna give you what I need, baby" - Peven Everett, Everyday Girl (Studio Confessions)
This summer has been far too gay for my mother. A friend of hers that was formerly 'in the closet' or maybe a little 'DL' or maybe just in denial is now a lot more open. His man-friend is a little "too much" for my mother. He's "over the top." That seems to be the most insufferable thing for her in this season of cheering for queering - the "over the top" gay man. I tried to quiz her on what "over the top" meant but she gave me the look that suggested that I should know.
She's uncomfortable with my sister watching Boy Meets Boy. My sister doesn't even understand the act of male homosexual sex and is pretty sure that men just kiss when they are in romantic relationships. Moms wants to ban the show from the television. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is sort of okay but Boy Meets Boy? It's too much, too much, too gay.
I smirked. She got defensive. Blah blah blah I have gay friends blah blah blah you can't be in this industry and not like gays blah blah blah it's just gone too far too fast.
I smirked in a smirkier fashion. What, she asked. I smirk my smirkiest smirk. What, she asked again.
"It's different," she finally said, "It's not like skin color. Gay people can hide the fact that they are gay. We can't hide this," she said while rubbing her arm.
"Would you hide just because you could," I asked.
"It's just too much too fast, Jay."
"I told you I won't be doing the wedding thang until all my peoples can do the same, right," I asked. "Not that I'm running to the altar but, to me, it's not enough not nearly as quick as it should be."
"You're not like most men, are you?"
"No, Ma, I'm not your average bear."
Update (courtesy of George Kelly's Negrophile): African Americans' struggle for equality has always depended on the contributions of the Rustins, the James Baldwins, the Audre Lordes, and so many more. However, if the mainstream African American community does not evidence a reciprocal concern for its gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered members, where will the next Bayard Rustin come from?