"Things like this used to be civilized. You'd hit a guy. He'd whack you. Done. But with Benedict. He better not know you're involved. Cuz' He'll kill you and then he'll go to work on ya." - Various Artists, Ruben's In ( The Ocean's Eleven Original Soundtrack)
Dear White People Who Invite Me To Things,
I appreciate the invite. You fine folks are throwing nice parties with good food, good spirits with people in good spirits having more than your fair share of good laughs. I have a grand ol' time. Really, I do. I'm not complaining at all. I still plan on attending all your events. I just have a question:
Am I the only person of color you know?
Los Angeles is a big place with lots of people. Most of those people are some shade of brown. I'm just wondering why all your events feature me in a sea of fake bake rather than the melting pot/salad bowl metaphor that we all know LA is supposed to be? I like multiculturalism. I like interacting with a wide range of folks from different backgrounds with like interests. I know when I throw a get down get down, I expect there to be all kinds of flavor in there. I don't even have to think about it. I know inherently by the company I keep that it's going to be a rainbow connection.
Why doesn't that happen for you?
Maybe I'm just being sensitive because I can feel my skin color at these events. I scan the room. I want there to be another brother or sister in there. Somebody, anybody I can give the black man nod to. I need some acknowledgement, some recognition that feels different than the conversations, real or imagined, that I hear just under the din of the party.
"Who's that (black) guy?" "Oh, he's so-and-so's friend. He's so nice. "Oh."But maybe I'm asking the wrong people the question. Maybe you invite your darker skinned compatriots and I'm just the only one with the inclination to show up. Are we self-segregating? Maybe so. Cecily notes:
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said long ago that 11:00 on Sunday morning is "the most segregated hour in America". I've seen precious little change in that reality in recent years, which leads me to believe that (1) people are willingly self-segregating themselves and (2) that most people prefer to "church" with those that are most like them. If my theories are true -- and I have a sneaking suspicion that they're on target -- it is a sad commentary on post-Civil Rights era race relations.Maybe the pulpit isn't the only place. Maybe we only integrate when we have to. There's something tangible there in the difference between black and white. Or brown and white. Or simply white and non-white. I've been to all Filipino events where I was the only "black" person and not felt like odd man out. I've been to all Mexican events and even with a language barrier not felt like I was disconnected. When it's an all-white crowd though? Wow. Just one face of color would help me out. The hsw and I were at The Derby for a show a few weeks ago and another black man, who I didn't know, walked in and we gave each other the nod. She noted that we'd acknowledged each other. I joked, "Well, we let each other know that if some shit goes down in here and you white people go crazy that we've got each other's back." Maybe I'm only half-joking. update:I can relate to an article courtesy of George Kelly's Negrophile. updated again: Prometheus 6 continues the conversation.