Jason Toney

M Asks...

"I won't tell your secrets/your secrets are safe with me/I will keep your secrets/just think of me as the pages in your diary" - Alicia Keys, Diary (The Diary of Alicia Keys) M asks:

First timer here. I really enjoy your site. You ask what people would like to hear from you and to be quite honest, I really like just reading your musings on just about anything. You have a wonderful way of expressing yourself. If you're short on topics, since one of your resolutions for this year fell short (shagging), what's up for 2004?

The first thing up for 2004 is being sexy. Jilly over at Jadedju said via email:

I see by your blog that you are planning to be sexy in '04. If you figure out how to do that, please make sure you publish the findings, as I could most definitely use them myself.

So, that's also part of 2004, figuring out the how, why and what of sexy. Here's some earth shattering how's right here:

1. Smell Delicious. Just because your ex-girlfriend couldn't smell doesn't mean others can't. (how many negatives strung together is that?)
2. brush and floss with reckless abandon. Plaque-o is wack-o.
3. When somebody looks, does, or says something delicious, tell them. Keeping the positive to yourself is unflattering.
4. add delicious to your lexicon. Use sparingly. And deliciously.

What else for 2004? Harder, better, faster, stronger. Take more risks. Be more honest. Run my face off. Read more. Say more. Learn more. Do more. Give away books I buy. Share more music I love. Invest more in socially progressive businesses. Battle the three biggest bastards in my world right now - AIDS, Cancer, & The Politics of Religiosity. Somebody call Oprah cuz in 2004 I want to remember my spirit. And in December 2004, I plan to treat myself to a weekend in Hawaii and a New Year's in New Zealand. It's gonna be Jason 2.9 baby and 2004 is gonna be like whoa. Who's got the next question?

it's good to play together

"Stay on the scene like a sex machine" - James Brown, (Get Up I Feel Like Being A) Sex Machine Part 1 (50th Anniversary Collection) So, my Christmas present from my folks was pretty much wack this year. I got 200 bucks in a box with tissue paper wrapped around it. Now, 200 is fine and all but I like to get gifts. It doesn't have to cost Two Hundy. My favorite gifts so far this year are my Mr. T in Your Pocket Keychain and my Pictionary Keychain. My parents even asked what I wanted for the holiday. I told them what I wanted. We talked about several of the gifts. I even sent them links to my wishlist and gave suggested stores if they wanted to do gift certificates. 2 100 dollar bills does not a happy happy holiday make. Especially when everybody else got a cavalcade of fabulous prizes. So, to make myself feel better, I took my dollars and bought the Xbox Holiday Bundle from Target (which features not 2 but 3 games - Mech Assault along with Clone Wars and Tetris Worlds). I also bought Dead or Alive 3. That was Friday. On Saturday, I bought a 50 foot ethernet cable and Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic. Xbox is my master and SW:KOR is the Overseer. So, I'm leaving the computer to go back to Taris so I can find Bastila and kick the ass of these damn Vulkars that are harshing my buzz. But, first some questions. What are you using for stat-tracking? Hitbox is getting rid of it's free service on the 31st and I need a new one. The more robust the better but it's been a while since I've looked at such things. What do you suggest? Also, I've been doing this for nearly 2 years now and while I'm not running out of things to talk about, I'm curious...what do you want to know about me? What topic do you want me to discuss? Ask me any question. I'll answer it. If not honestly at least interestingly. Okay, Jsun Toeknee, Scout Level 6 is heading back into the sewers now. How do you say Happy New Year in Twi'Lek? What about Wookie?

The New Lifestyle

"My beating heart wants you and my empty arms need you/don't you go, please stay and never try to send me away." - Joss Stone, I've Fallen In Love With You (The Soul Sessions*) It's been a bountiful year. My best year professionally, financially, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I've exorcised some demons. I've done some growing up. I've overcome some hinderances to life. The only sphere I feel I failed on improving was the abysmal realm of love and romance. Early in the year I said I wanted some booty in 2003. Well, yeah, unless there's some serious freaky deaky coming in the next 5 days, you can get up off my back, save your heart attack cuz ain't nobody humpin around (Free Bobby!) Oh, I was real cute in 2003. But cute, apparently, doesn't get you even a one night stay in the House of Fuckin'. So, as The Lovely Miss Mahoney reminded me last week in her annual visit back to the left coast, it's time for a new lifestyle. My new lifestyle is sexy. You know - adorable, alluring, centerfold, charming, covetable, drop-dead beautiful, fascinating, fetching, gimme, head rush, mink, piece, seductive, sexy, stone, ten, untouchable. Well, no. Fuck untouchable. You can touch me all you want. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to go about the sexy-ifying of myself. Until this morning the only things I had come up with were licking my lips a lot, always remembering lotion (ashy is the antithesis of sexy), and trying to keep my eyes open in pictures. But now I've got a tool or two. 1. The regular running has me with some damn fine legs and the regular tae bo has given me a musclebound chest. I'm a little soft in the middle but hey, Sexy accentuates the positives. And TWOpointFIVE (formerly The Actress) gave me some fine smelling Bulgari for Christmas. "It's to further your metrosexuality," she says. Metrosexuality? I know it's the hip term but it's never been thrown my way before. I didn't know how to respond. "Are you saying I'm Gay," I inquired. "I mean, I know I'm progressive and all that but everyone does know I dig chicks, right?" Oh, such sad, pitiful concern for my own assumed, confirmed heterosexuality. This conversation was not boding well for Sexy in 2004. I'm so thankful that I have 5 more days to get this right. "No," she replied. "Not Gay. Gay...ish." So much better. Sexy in 2004 is Gay-ish. That goes pretty well with my hope that 2004 is the year of Gay Anal Sex. For others. Not me. Cuz I'm hetero. Über-Hetero. I fuck ladies. Well, you know, except for this year. This didn't go like I expected. I hope you all had a Sexy Christmas!

the start of dickersonness

"And even though the flowers bloom/When I come back from these flowers, these flowers got me on some other ..." - Dudley Perkins, Flowers (A Lil Light) Debra Dickerson. She has two blogs. George has mentioned her on his site twice (which was the first I'd heard of her). Her new book was advertised in this month's Mother Jones. I mentioned this to Aaron and he checked the one sheet about it and got riled up. Then he read this and got interested in what she might have to say. Cobb's pissed about her recent New York Times piece on Kwanzaa. For whatever the reason, Miss Dickerson's got the pulse of negroes. Part of me is convinced that a portion of her posturing is to sell the book which threatens to be controversial. The other part of me is awfully anxious for the book to come out. I guess, whatever her intent, it's working.

my sad christmas tale

"She said she wants some Ready for the World, some New Edition, some Minnie Ripperton would definitely set this party off right." - Twista featuring Kanye West and Jamie Foxx, Slow Jamz (Slow Jamz-Single) Jessica announced that she was giving up the self-pity crown which is wonderful because I think it fits on my head. See, The HSW mentioned this personality quiz at match.com. See, I took the personality quiz at match.com. Come to find out that only 1% of the women in the world find my personality very attractive. And then get this, I only find 9% of the personalities of women in the world very attractive. Now, here's where your head might explode...what if the 9% of the world I'm attracted to doesn't include the 1% that would be attracted to me? And, oh ho ho Mr. feelgoodaboutyourself, 62% of women find your personality neutral or unattractive. And really, that's just fine because you only find about 40% of them even possibly datable. Nevermind that whole "true love" concept you're stuck on because, see, despite your best efforts to pretend otherwise, the personality quiz shows you're hard-wired to be relationship boy. You're hard-wired to have intimacy issues. You're hard-wired to be introverted with lofty standards and a first impression that makes it difficult for folks to get to know you. But, good on ya for being "balanced" and making strong friendships. Maybe that's why you're every woman's brother instead of their lover. And, shhhhh don't tell anybody, but you're probably most comfortable that way...because, see, you're also hardwired to take life as it comes. So, if the woman you think is the love of your life wants to be "just friends" well, you'll be "just friends" because that's what you do. 1% of the female population would really find me, hot, though. So, I thought to myself, I want to see who these women are. I signed up for match.com and asked them to find me this 1% of dream women in a 50 mile radius to me.

We're sorry. There are no matches in your area.

At this point, I imagine these women that would love me in the Big L way are probably in insane asylums or incarcerated. Either way...Call Me. Sigh. Merry Christmas!

Big Lists of 2003 - The threes

"Sounds good, looks good, feels good, too" - Fischerspooner, Emerge (New Noise 5) I suspect I'm going to post several times today as it's 6:39 AM and I've already been up for 6 hours. I've eaten a doughnut, I'm drinking my essential vitamin water and there's a cheese danish staring me in the face. Plus, I'm at work already. And, no, I'm not emulating Aaron. Sometimes we negroes just happen to have our cycles synchronized. He, being uppity, however, tends to have a longer, heavier flow. I'm more like those teen girls in the tampon commercials. Gimme a tiny package that my teacher can't figure out and I'm all smiles. Where was this going again? Ahhh, yes, the last of my lists for the year.

Big Lists of 2003 - The Fives

"World keeps on turnin'" - Erykah Badu, World Keeps Turning (Outro) (Worldwide Underground) 5 albums that probably should have made my 10 essential CDs of 2003 list

1. Polyphonic Spree - The Beginning Stages of...
2. Basement Jaxx - Kish Kash
3. Annie Lennox - Bare
4. Joss Stone - The Soul Sessions
5. Nelly Furtado - Folklore

5 movies that were worth the price of admission (even though I got in for free) in 2003

1. The Matrix Reloaded
2. Kill Bill Vol. 1
3. The Pirates of the Carribean: Curse of the Black Pearl
4. Old School
5. Cabin Fever

5 movies that were a waste of my motherfuckin' time in 2003 (and not even worth linking to)

1. National Security
2. Daredevil
3. Gangs of New York
4. Malibu's Most Wanted
5. A Civil Brand

5 movies I should have seen so I could be like the cool kids in 2003

1. Lost in Translation
2. The Human Stain
3. Pieces of April
4. Mystic River
5. The Return of the King

5 couples that the Wachowski Brothers would beat in any board game in 2003

1. Nick &Jessica
2. Ally & Jamie
3. Ben & Jen
4. Carmen & Dave
5. Ashton & Demi

5 reasons I didn't listen to commercial radio in 2003 (and I can't find the energy to put these names in my search engine)

1. R. Kelly
2. Nick Cannon
3. B2K
4. Marques Houston
5. Murder The Inc.

5 people on my goddamned nerves in 2003

1. Kobe Bryant (for being either a. an idiot or b. a rapist)
2. the news media en todo (because all tv news is just a big joke right now)
3. Wesley Clark (for being the bumbling candidate)
4. George W. Bush (for being all photo ops and no substance...at least no substance that works for me)
5. Benzino

5 people from 2003 I want to meet in heaven

1. Strom Thurmond (so I can give him a pound and say "Once you go black, you never go back, right, my nigga?")
2. Monica Belluci (have you seen the poster?)
3. Jessica Alba (have you seen the abs and the dancing? OW might just be right on this one)
4. Andy Wachowski &
5. Larry Wachowski (because we have a lot to discuss)

Big Lists of 2003 - The 10 Essential CDs

"Sometimes I can't sleep and I can't eat/It gets lonely sometimes/but you see I've got a few simple questions" - The RH Factor, Kwah/Home (Hard Groove) I'm probably all lists for the rest of the year as I've got a lot to cover.

1. Outkast - Speakerboxxx/The Love Below (Because Andre 3000 is everything that music is this year and Big Boi is the funkiest rapper you ever did see. And Because you need to give Speakerboxxx more listens. Big Boi covers some pretty big subjects on several of the tracks and might be just as eclectic and inventive as Andre is while staying inside the hip hop box)
2. Madlib - Shades of Blue (Because it really is the year of the Madlib and you're lucky I didn't put that Dudley Perkins album on this list just to mess with your head)
3. Erykah Badu - Worldwide Underground (Because she said "fuck it. Neo-Soul is dead." and took us to the next level)
4. Damien Rice - O (Because nobody made prettier sad songs than this irishman)
5. Jaylib - Champion Sound (Because the production is off the charts while still staying very much in the traditions of hip hop beatmaking. Samples. Drum beats. And Quasimoto. It is the year of Madlib)
6. Anthony Hamilton - Coming From Where I'm From (Because Neo-soul doesn't have to die if it's artists can stay this fresh and honest)
7. The Beatles - Let It Be...Naked (Because raw can make the old sound fresh and alive)
8. Roy Hargrove presents The RH Factor - Hard Groove (Because this shows where intelligent black music can go in the post-soulquarian void)
9. Dido - Life For Rent (Because sometimes you don't need to tinker with the winning formula)
10. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Fever to Tell (Because Karen O will kick your ass)

Marathon Man

"Life is this marathon and I'm running for you baby" - Kelis, Marathon (Tasty) Amazing. Spectacular. Those are the two words I've used most often to describe the experience of running the Honolulu Marathon. They don't do it justice. The standard words for emotion don't convey what I've been feeling. It's more than "elation." It's something other than "joy" or "satisfaction" or even "euphoria." Sometimes English is just far too simple for me. And, let it be known, I'm only talking about the run at this point. I haven't even gotten to the 5 days I spent in what was the closest thing to paradise I could imagine. And paradise apparently includes prostitutes. One of the first things I noticed as the sunset on my first night in Waikiki was the appearance, like magic, of young ladies with too much makeup and lined eyebrows in glass slippers and the most minute of mini-skirts on every corner of the resort beach. Bold women (or maybe desperate? determined?) stared male tourists down, hoping for the eye contact that suggested he was interested in "dating." Japanese tourists with weak English skills would find themselves with ladies of the night on each arm, whispering in their ears, mentioning phrases like "blow jobs" and "sucky sucky" and "100 dollars American." And the morning of the marathon, at 3 AM, as we made our way to the school buses that would take us to the start line, my faithful pace group and I watched a young frat-type looking boy walk his "date" to the ATM machine across from our hotel to make payment. We screamed "Yay for prostitution" but they didn't seem to notice and I knew that the Marathon would likely be the best day of my life. The emotion of the marathon was the point at which 6 months of focus, determination, pain and training met with fireworks and pride and honor and respect and grit and culminated with a sense of triumph, despair, fatigue, wonder, and transition. The person that crossed the starting line at 5:09AM was not the same person that crossed the finish line at 11:48am. I can't explain to you what that change was, when exactly it happened and what it means for my future. Those words simply don't exist in a language I know. I can tell you about the race, though. Get a little water and some sports drink and tie your running shoes. Not too tightly, mind, as your feet will swell on this course. Ready? Steady. Go!

Marathon Man (prelude)

EJ has the breakdown up already:

He finished the race!!!! Race Tracking for 25,283 Official Entrants Gun Time is the clock time based on a 5 AM start. Finish Time is based on the time the runner crossed the start line. * indicates data not available Jason A Toney #9159 of Canoga Park CA USA AIDS Marathon Los Angeles 10K: 01:30:54 Half Marathon: 03:04:40 30K: 04:29:48 Gun Time: 06:50:18 Finish Time: 06:39:17 Place Overall: 15950 by Gender: 9339 Men by Division: 1131 (age 28)

marathonfoto.com already has some of the pics up (including my pumped fist across the finish line) I'll have the emotional, mental, and physical breakdown sometime tomorrow after I get back to the city of Angels and return to normal life. Aloha!