Jason Toney

Billy Blanks and Cancer Can Bite Me

"And I know when things get kind of rough/you've got to keep together, keep together, keep together" - Brand New Heavies, Keep Together (Jay Kincaid Version) (Excursions) It hurts when I do this. *ow* And by this, I mean pretty much anything that involves my chest cavity expanding, contracting, turning or anything else. It hurts when I sit. It hurts when I stand. It hurts when I lay down. And then, sometimes, I get this sensation of cold in the lower left portion of my back for no good reason. The muscle is so tight right there that my diaphragm appears to have trouble collecting air and so every once in a while, I unexpectedly take a deep breath. Plus, I have the belches and a little bit gas in the digestive track. During Monday morning Taebo I either ruptured a disc, pinched a nerve or I'm dying. Hopefully the doctor will know more tomorrow. Speaking of death, can we just say Fuck Cancer? Go on a vacation, Cancer, I need a break. In the past 18 months, I've been left with the visions of a 75 year old man I love cry for his father; a 29 year old woman I love do the same and, now, as of yesterday, a 9 year old girl who has lost both of her parents to the disease before she's even lived a decade. Man, Cancer, quit taking our shit and leaving us with loss. For at least a minute so I can get over some of this. Fuck Cancer. In the Goat ass.* *Thanks for that Courtney

imbibed embellishments

"Tonight everything is over...I feel too young" - Phoenix, Too Young (Lost in Translation) Friday Night: TWOpointFIVE (now, officially, TWOpointSIX) had a birthday extravaganza at The Dime featuring DJ Hoov on the ones and twos and Austin from Days of Our Lives as the door man. I ran into an old friend, El Jefe, but mostly chilled in the corner with The Lovely Miss Anna Baby explaining who was who and what drama was going on and laughing with the very drunk birthday girl as she relayed tales of her current boy dilemmas. Two boys, best friends, one TWOpointSIX. Oh, the hilarity. I think I was getting hit on by a blast from the past but I was kind of not about it. And, come to think of it, I think she might have had a boob job in the past 8 months. That hug was a lot, uh, firmer than I remember. Sunday Morning: On three hours of sleep and with a wicked nice pseudo hangover (a little grogginess but no real ill-effects), we ran 6 miles. I could've done the eight but a certain redhead is lagging. I'm just saying. Lovely breakfast, though, at Babalu with special guest stars Coconut Mango French Toast, discussions of Venereal Disease, and Lisa Breckenridge from FOX 11 news. She's cute. I like her so much more than the insufferable Dorothy Lucey. I'm still heckuv hungry despite the big meal but that has more to do with my not eating Saturday night. Oh wait, Saturday...

altered states

"You'd left me waiting here...a long long time ago." - The Beatles, Long and Winding Road (Let it Be...Naked) The State of the Union

It's a completely different experience listening to the State of the Union vs. watching it. I sat in my car after I got home after work yesterday and was able to focus on the words. It was a weird speech. I thought the listing of the countries who have committed troops to Iraq was a nice touch (and was done much better than Dean's creepy speech of listing the states the night before in Iowa...and maybe I shouldn't call it creepy anymore. The more I see that video, the more I like it and like him. Sure he's a little unhinged but he's fun.) and that most of the rest of it was kind of crazy and didn't really say anything. And the President cares about Steroids in Sports? Now, I still haven't seen any of the footage but you can tell me...did like 70% of the audience go, "What the fuck?" 

Keith provides his list of lies in the speech. Natalie provides the commentary. 

 My recent answering of Selectsmart's Presidential Selector (via George. Note that Jessica's trying to Vote Smart as well) tells me I should be voting for Reverend Al Sharpton (because, apparently, I've gone über-progressive in my old age) but most of the democratic candidates bunch up pretty close together as far as their policy claims and my sensibilities are concerned. I might jump on the Dean bandwagon just because I dig crazy and think it would be a shame if we couldn't see more of his gutteral yelps, his inability to smile like a normal human being, and his reporter-bashing beyond this year. 

The State of my Mixed Media

This really should be at Time Wastin' but I have other stuff that needs to go there. 

Michelle thinks we should have a book club. She even provided some of the possible reading material. I'm more than happy to host the online discussion if anyone's interested. Let me know. I'm currently reading the Best American Non-Required Reading of 2003 but I don't know what's going to come next (I have some ideas but...) if we Book Club it, though, I don't have to decide on my own (okay, I will because I'm sure I'll be reading two books at the same time because I'll think of the Book Club book as homework and then will want a second book for "fun" no matter how "fun" the book club book actually is.) Maybe the Natalie Wood biography? That's the 4th or 5th black and white pic I've seen of her in the past 2 weeks. She's ridiculously attractive. 

But back to them thangs... I'm going to be writing about the goodness that is Prefuse 73 as well as the goodness that is the California garage band, The Thrills, at Time Wastin' soon. 

I'm going to have a headset and Top Spin for the Xbox by the end of the week if anyone wants to challenge me on Xbox Live. Trust me...I suck. I've never been good at video game tennis but we can still play. Diddy told me that it's good to play together. 

Coachella is going to kick your ass. The Cure is going to headline the 2nd night. Radiohead and The Pixies are on the main stage on Day 1. I'm going to be there. It will be delicious. Air will be there, too. Check out the new video. Talkie Walkie drops next week. 

This year, I'm going to put together a list of my favorite tracks for each month. Essentially, make a CD's worth of songs for every 30 days of 2004. That way, by the end of the year, I'll really know what I loved. Sadly, this month, there's very little rap infused hip hop that I'm loving. Encore off of Jay-Z's Black Album is nice and I loved Slow Jamz early, but it's getting stale now. There's a lot of New Edition, some Alicia Keys, the Lost in Translation soundtrack and sprinklings of Kelis but not much else has my attention. What's hot to death for you this month? I'll be posting my monthly mix cd on the 31st.

State of ME

It's been a good work week and I can't tell you about any of it.

quick, what's important about monday?

"Free to run around all day/Free to do it all my way." - Jason Weaver/Rowan Atkinson/Laura Williams, Just Can't Wait to be King (The Lion King Soundtrack) I was going to do an all MLK edition of Peripheral Vision but this picture (and the persuasive commentary at Body and Soul):

had me really thinking about everything I was reading and it's context in the state of things right now.

Penny Wise

"We started out as friends but the thought of you just caged me in." - Terence Trent D'Arby, Sign Your Name (Introducing the Hardline...) For some reason, The Year of The Sexy has me nostalgic. I don't know why. I've never felt sexy for any extended period of time before now. There have been flashes, moments of brilliance, where the erotica of my mind has met the reality of my person and built to a crescendo of carnal prowess but they have been fleeting and far too rare. But this current movement of The Sexy has me thinking of old R&B love songs, wishing The Box still existed and that someone would order Rico Suave and Kyper's Tic Tac Toe and some Michel'le. Maybe even some Color Me Badd or Mentirosa. I wish I could go to a house party and have a dance-off with some fool that hasn't heard about how I get down. I'm thinking about junior high school and secret crushes and young love. And I'm thinking about Penny.

that girl is poison

"Think of me/you know I'd be with you if I could/I'm coming around to see you once in awhile/or if I ever need a reason to smile" - Todd Rundgren, Hello, It's Me (Original Music from The Virgin Suicides) Before we begin, here's some truth for 2004: Eddie Murphy's Party All The Time has grown on me a whole lot in the past 13 years and ever since New Year's Day, despite the fact that I haven't heard the song in forever, I've found myself singing the chorus when my mind wanders.

sanctity

"Come on home, girl, he said with a smile/You don't have to love me and let's get high awhile" - Heart, Magic Man (Original Music from The Virgin Suicides)

Britney and Jason Allen Alexander got married and anulled in 55 hours. Legally, officially, with the approval of our government.

Melissa Etheridge and Tammy-Lynn Michaels exchanged vows and wedding bands on September 21st, 2003 and continue to be together but none of it's legal.

Yay, another win for the sanctity of marriage.

Don't Make me P.I.M.P. Clap you

"You're my sugar honey iced tea baby/you're just as sweet as could be" - Kelis, Sugar Honey Iced Tea (Tasty) Immediately, we've got the giggles. TWOpointFIVE and I took our seats at Buddha's Belly and after she ordered water for herself and our invisible friend, BlueEyes, she informed me she and BlueEyes were starting Operation B.I.T.C.H. "It means Babe In Total Control of Herself," she said. I raised an eyebrow. 'See, it's about taking control. Not being so nice. Not being the girlfriend before you're the girlfriend." Ahhh. It all became clear. After eating some chilled shrimp vietnamese spring rolls and jasmine rice, BlueEyes showed up running late and said, "So, what do you think of Operation B.I.T.C.H?" "I think it's fine because this year I'm engaged in Operation P.I.M.P.," I replied. "P.I.M.P.?" "Party In My Pants," I said and clapped. Insert one minute of giggles here. "What?" I continued, "The Twenty Oh Fresh is The Year of The Sexy and trust, there is always a party in my pants. I'm a P.I.M.P." Clap. "It's The Year of The Sexy," BlueEyes asked. "Indeed. We're working on The Sexy. I'm spending a lot of time figuring out the how, why and what of Sexy." "I like this. So, do you think Operation B.I.T.C.H. will be successful?" "I'm not sure. It seems like a lot of non-effort in the hopes of illiciting a reaction. That's not the way science works." "So, what should I do," BlueEyes asked. "Tell him he needs to take you out, on like a Friday, and that it needs to be somewhere that he needs to wear nice pants." "Oh, I can't do that. What if I just make-out with him?" "No," TWOpointFive and I said in unison. "We say no to NCMO." (pronounced Nick-Moh) "NCMO?" "The Non-Commital Make-Out. Friends can make-out and still not be any further in a relationship," I explained. "What you need," said TwoPointFive, "is a DTR." "DTR?" Again in stereo, "Define The Relationship." "See," I said, "We're freaks in L.A. Everybody else in the world at our age is getting married or in long term relationships or whatever. Nobody dates anybody around here. We're so weird. We have all these low expectations about the people we like but all these high expectations about the passion and romance so we get caught up. We don't care that they don't have a job and still live at home and might have a criminal record, we just really want them to love us the way we imagine love. The way the movies and the tv shows and the screenplays we're writing make it seem." "We want the Sex in the City note on the bed that says 'I'm making breakfast' and then pancakes," said TWOpointFIVE. "With three people watching," I added. "Maybe not that." "But yeah, I just want a date. I'm so relationship guy and I'm totally trying to break that because really I just want to go on a date. What's the big deal, it's a date. Dinner and a walk or something. The problem, though, is Sunday Mornings. Sunday Mornings I want to make breakfast for someone. I want to read the paper with someone. I want someone to be there who I don't have to do something with. We can just be. On Sunday Mornings, I want to be with a person I don't hate." BlueEyes and TWOpointFIVE, in unison, "That's exactly it." "And, really," I continued, "I don't even need to see them the rest of the week. Just be in my bed Sunday Morning so I can go make breakfast and maybe we can walk to, like, Starbucks holding hands." "That's all I want," sighed TWOpointFIVE. "I just want to hold hands and walk to Starbucks. With our dogs. On a play date." We all sighed together. And held hands. Fingers intertwined. I looked in their eyes and smiled. "P.I.M.P." Clap. And, again, the giggles.

skin to win

"Back with another one of those block rockin' beats!" - The Chemical Brothers, Block Rockin' Beats (Singles 93-03) 2004 is already sexier than 2003. I didn't kiss anybody at the turn of the year in the Two Double Obie Trice, but I'm pretty sure I kissed or was kissed by half a dozen women this year. They were like TwoPointFive likes her toast (dry) but, hey, Sexy wasn't built in a day. Neither was Troy. But the Men of Troy beat the Men of the Wolverines of Ann Arbor (are wolverines native to Ann Arbor like Ancient Greeks are native to Southern California? I think so. Yes.) during College Football New Year's Dip Day. Mister Zero and Dancing Brave know how to throw a couch sitting soiree. And the HSW can put a pig in a fucking blanket. Pleasebelieveit. It kind of bums me out that with all the writing I've done in the past two weeks, the bullshit movie meme is the most popular with not 1 but 2 trackbacks and 8 comments. I mean, damn, is that what it comes down to? Maybe I should just meme all the time. But maybe that also means my writing the past couple weeks, while interesting to me, has been wack to the world. Well, fuck that because while Plato said in The Republic the most important truth about the world for the Twenty Oh Fourzee, "Skin to Win" (it's in the original greek and doesn't rhyme like that so you might have missed it), the basketball philosopher, Shaquille O'Neal said, "TWisM." The World is Mine, motherbitches. And as Snoop Dogg said to me over AOL Instant Messenger and my Bling Bling Mobile Phone, "Nephew, Ya Gots Ta Do It." So...let me do the damn thing. Happy New Year!