"Throw away yesterday, today is a brand new day." - Sia, The Church of What's Happening Now [buy the album]
Disenchanted? Cynical? Pessimistic?
When did this happen to me?
I've always been the optimist. I could see the promise in our political process and the framing of this country. I love the ideas of political action and involvement. I think voting is important and think that if our voices could just be heard that our leadership would respond.
So why can't I find the spark to be more involved in this, our "most important election" in recent times?
Oh sure, I write to my senators when an important vote is coming to tell them how I would like them to vote. I get my MoveOn.org emails and participate when I see the relavence. I read Arianna Online and I get a little tinge of hope from Music For America and Involver 04 but...but what?
I was thinking about all the energy surrounding Fahrenheit 9/11 and the impetus to get people out to see it and, I don't know. I felt like it was so lame, so cliche liberal. A girl remarked to her friend on the escalator after the screening, "Why do all these people need a movie to tell them that war is bad? And so what now that they all know that 'war is bad'...what are they going to do about it? When are people fuckin' going to do something?"
I off-handedly mentioned in an email to some friends that I thought it was Armchair Activism. A bunch of people going to see a movie because that was going to show the powers that be that they were serious. Let's have a house party where we sit around and discuss the film and pat ourselves on the back on how we know the truth. Let's organize a nationwide bake sale to raise money for John Kerry's campaign. Yay, we're liberals. Rah rah fuckin' rah.
See the cynicism? Where the fuck did that come from?
But, it's interesting, the only time I get email from the democratic party is when they want money. They don't send me emails telling me about the issues that should be important to me locally and nationally. They don't send me emails about the programs and policies that they are working on that they need support for. They don't inform me of companies that support the Republican Party and why they do so or, even better, the companies that support the Democratic Party and/or progressive causes and why they are important. For that I need Utne Reader and Mother Jones Journal.
Why should I care about John Kerry or the Democrats? I'm not a liberal, I'm a fuckin' progressive. I don't want to do politics, I want to do something. Something that matters. Truly, the last 4 years have made me want to be less involved in the political process, not more.
S-Train talked about the "Don't Cares"...I'm not quite there but, damn, if I'm just disillusioned with the whole system. So rarely do I hear politicians talk about people anymore. I never hear politicians make real demands of the American people or say something of substance. I'm so fuckin' soundbited out that I want to scream.
I'm desperate for some leadership. Clamoring for it, really. I want more Arianna's. Not just a policy wonk or a pundit or a talking head. I want some real down in the trenches work for the future.
I want somebody to make me pay attention. To get me up out of this arm chair and act.
Because, I'm sorry, I love all you bright eyed Move On folks and everything but damn, I'm really not trying to come to your houses with my little name tag and talk about the genius of Michael Moore.
I want some better shit to do.
I am trying to find some spark.
I don't want to feel this way.
In these difficult times, I want to have feelings of optimism and be called upon to do more and be more.
"We can do well in this country. We will have difficult times; we've had difficult times in the past; we will have difficult times in the future. It is not the end of violence; it is not the end of lawlessness; it is not the end of disorder. But the vast majority of white people and the vast majority of black people in this country want to live together, want to improve the quality of our life, and want justice for all human beings who abide in our land. Let us dedicate ourselves to what the Greeks wrote so many years ago: to tame the savageness of man and make gentle the life of this world. Let us dedicate ourselves to that, and say a prayer for our country and for our people" - Senator Robert Kennedy