"Skeet, skeet, skeet"
I'm trying not to talk about the VMAs because I'm too cool to actually watch awards shows but...
Is that Vivica Fox on stage shaking it like a salt shaker in coochie cutter shorts?
Scandalous.
Bonus question: Is she so irrelevant at this point that nobody in the audience even noticed. Including the hip hop cats she's been in movies and the bed with?
And since I'm not watching but still talking about it: Usher annoys me but that's a fly suit and Jigga's so on point I can't even see him. I love Xtina even though she ain't got no eyebrows and I'm so down with B.Willis for Leanin' Back.
Perhaps some more later if I decide to not watch some more.
It's Later (and I'm still not watching): Wayne Coyne and The Polyphonic Spree are way too hip for this show... Why does JoJo have to break out the Christina Aguilera speaking voice and poise on stage while rocking a Natalie Portman in The Professional outfit making grown men uncomfortable?... Alicia Keys and the curls and the clear skin without the caked on makeup really agree with each other...It's officially okay to not like the beastie boys now. They've jumped the sasquatch...Lenny Kravitz has obviously joined salt shaker Vivica in the desperately clamoring for relevancy division...I wanna be Andre 3000 when I grow up.
Lay Back in the Cut...Like, What's Up: One more thing. The Alec Baldwin narrated MTV Promos in the style of The Royal Tenenbaums are hot to death...and no matter how sexily you try to do that walk SJP, those gap jeans can't make you all of a sudden have an ass. Try again.
We now return you to the high-brow entertainment you've come to know and enjoy.