Jason Toney

52 Books in 52 Weeks: Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants

"No letting go. No holding back." - Wayne Wonder, No Letting Go

Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants by Jill Soloway (Free Press). I have three other books to review that I finished before this one but Jill must come first. I've talked about her before. Ms. Soloway is smart and challenging and crazy funny and this collection of essays -- a kind of autobiography -- was my best friend throughout my trip to New York. Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants is more amusing to me than similar books in the genre like David Sidaris's Me Talk Pretty One Day (which I do really enjoy) or Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim (which I didn't finish) because her perspective is closer to people in my life.

She's a brainy chick with a filthy mouth working in the entertainment industry and living in LA and loving it. She has odd tales of love and sex and is passionate about the way of the world and the world for women. She watches reality tv. Hell, she lives down the street from Real World Seattle's Rebecca (of local band Becky) who is among my most favorite of the real world kids to work with. I felt a lot of synergy while reading Jill's book.

She reminds me of Ultra Tart and Dancing Brave.

The essays themselves go down smooth. Black was Beautiful -- which, oddly, is also her Holocaust chapter -- is my second favorite in the book. It recounts Jill's experience growing up on the South side of Chicago where she and her sister are the only White and Jewish kids in an increasingly all-Black community and how that informs her identity today. I can relate having often been the only black kid in the classroom growing up (and still often being the only black person in the room). Come for that but stay for Found My Way in LA and Lesbo Island which both make me smile.

I think what I want you to think about when you go buy Tiny Ladies and read it is that hopefulness. It is this mixture of passion and anger and sex and doubt and candor but all laced with this overwhelming humor about what life is. Maybe working on a show about death will do that to ya.

Give you hope.

I'd love to ask her about it in more depth but I doubt I'll get the chance. I'm pretty sure I don't get access to Lesbo Island.

Highly Recommended.

Izod

What the hell is up with all the fucking Izod shirts in New York City with the collars flipped up? I mean, seriously. Izod, khakhi pants, boat shoes. I forgot how bad dressin' east coast white guys are. Actually, the people I've been hanging with a lot (when I'm not walking around the city with my family listening to them jibber-jabber about everything and nothing until my mind floats out of my head and into the sky and I hover over buildings while my body jumps into the street with no cares at all hoping a taxi might just mow me down right here right now so I can't hear it anymore) aren't even east coast white people. They are all from Texas and North Carolina and Memphis. They live all upper west side or west side village and talk about business school and investment banking and advertising. There was that one cool conversation about cereal and marketing and how much share Cinnamon Toast Crunch (known in the breakfast business as CTC) has.

But mostly there's just a lot of me staring at people until they get drunk enough that I can dance with the girls while the Izod guys sort of not-move-at-all. The very first conversation I had with some Texas New Yorkans (known in the big city business of my inner mind as TNYs or Texanorkans when I'm not simply calling them red Izod or blue gator) went like this:

Me: Wow, everyone here is from Texas.

Aquamarine amphibious Texanorkan with collar popped: Yeah (pause) but we're not closed-minded.

Because I must believe that TNYs hate black people. Or maybe he thinks I'm Gay. I've been asked twice in the past two days about my sexuality. Is it my expensive shoes and button down non-izod shirts?  And both times, I've had my arms around women when asked.

What is that all about? I think its just a power play because while, on the first night, I looked around the bar thinking, "wow, there are cute people in NYC but there's nothing like LA for attractive" and then, "oh snap. I'm like the second handsomest guy in this spot and my shirt buttons down and is ironed and I didn't wear it to the fucking office to trade stocks bitches and my shirt collar will not be popped and my shoes are shined and my jeans did cost more than 50 dollars and yes, I do realize I'm paying for all this quality distressing in them that makes them look well worn but also feel damn comfortable", now I'm feeling all un-pretty.

Despite tae bo and contacts and working out at my fucking exclusive fitness suite hotel with the free gym and in-room massages and fit kits with personal trainers and healthy shit all mixed in with the alcohol in the mini bar (and I have a kitchen in my room y'all with like a real fridge and a stove and plates and pots and pans, what what?!), yeah, despite all of that, I'm feeling like my hair is too long and my skin is broken out and I look weird amongst all this seriousness.

But at least I'm not wearing a peach colored short sleeved 100% cotton shirt with a green gator, tail upturned with light tan pleated pants and brown shoes only found in LL Bean catalogs with no socks.

I may feel un-pretty right now but I'm no tool.

Friday Random Ten: Common Ground Edition

"Hot damn. Whatcha name, love? Where you came from?" - Mos Def, Ms. Fat Booty

I actually did this yesterday but haven't had the chance to post until today so here we go

Friday Random Ten

1. Just as Long as We're in Love - Terry Callier
2. Soon to Be Large - Charizma & Peanut Butter Wolf
3. Looking For You - Vikter Duplaix
4. This Means War!! (featuring Ozzy Osbourne) - Busta Rhymes
5. Spit Again (featuring Dawn Penn) - Cocoa Brovas
6. '98 Freestyle - Big L
7. Rap Promoter - A Tribe Called Quest
8. The Come Up - Ms. Jade
9. Signs (with Charlie Wilson & Justin Timberlake) - Snoop Dogg
10. Shadowboxer - Fiona Apple

new to my iTunes this week? Stevie Wonder's Innervisions + Fiona Apple's O Sailor/Parting Gift Single + the three most recent sumosonic sampler discs (the hip hop one being particularly good) + replacements for some worn out CDs: Jay-Z's Vol. 2 - Hard Knock Life and Mary J. Blige's My Life

Friday Saturday Random Ten: The Questions Edition

You know the deal.

Out of 7802 songs in my iTunes, we've got ourselves a

Friday Random Ten

1. Morning Song - Zero 7
2. Ghetto Children - Kelis
3. Space Slut - Funkaho
4. Forever - Bing Ji Ling
5. Wu Tang Cream Team Line Up - Wu Tang Clan
6. Breakaway - Basement Jaxx
7. Freestyle (with The Flipmode Squad) - Busta Rhymes
8. Three S's - The Avett Brothers
9. Show Business - A Tribe Called Quest
10. Rollout (My Business) - Ludacris

My 10 Shows

"The sun is up and it greets with a grin." - Shuggie Otis, Sparkle City

tag-a-licious meme-style: 10shows

My top ten shows of all time, in no particular order:

• The Cosby Show - Nothing reminds me of being a kid more than thinking about Thursday nights with the Huxtables.
• A Different World - I liked A Different World more than The Cosby Show. I always thought it was more situated in real life.
• The Wire - might be my favorite show in the history of TV.
• Homicide: Life On the Street - why am I in love with Baltimore based television?
• Six Feet Under - There aren't characters I hate and love more than the entire cast of characters on SFU.
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer - I still have a lot of trouble with Season 4 but Season 7, which I thought was horrible at the time, has really grown on me.
• The Shield - I'm usually exhausted after episode of The Shield so it must be good.
• Star Trek: The Next Generation - I'm not a trekkie by any means but I was seriously committed to this version of the series. Data, Geordi, Worf and Riker were wonderful to watch.
• The Sopranos - I'm in love with HBO, what can I say?
• All the recent crop of DC Comics inspired superhero cartoons - Batman: The Animated Series, Superman: The Animated Series, Justice League and Justice League Unlimited (not to mention Static Shock). I can't separate them. I love them all.

startingovertv.com

"Don't watch me, watch TV." Juelz Santana, Mic Check 1, 2

I forget that my department had a presence online as the moderation team of the startingovertv.com message boards. Hilarious to see crazy headlines on the summer boards that say stuff like "Starting Over Fires Web Staff!". Bwahahahahaha.

I don't know what is going to happen to the boards and moderation but for clarity's sake:

1. The site as a whole is currently under redesign and is going to look fresh and lovely come the fall season.
2. I have no idea who will be maintaining the site in the fall.
3. What that means for the boards is anyone's guess.

Is it too early to go to the Standard and drink mojitos poolside?

Friday Sunday Random Ten: Gainfully Unemployed Edition

"Don't want to hear you talking. Don't want to play your games" - The Donnas, Take Me to the Backseat

Heh. And all of a sudden he's back to blogging like normal.

Out of 7728 songs on my mac mini iTunes (which is about 95% of all the music I had on my work computer), we have ourselves a

Friday Random Ten

1. [Intro] Fela Mentality - Mixmaster Mike and Mario Caldato
2. Haberdashery Interlude - Viktor Vaughn
3. Hunter - Björk
4. Funkier than a Mosquito's Tweeter - Nikka Costa
5. I Try - Talib Kweli & Mary J. Blige
6. Get to Know Ya - Maxwell
7. Fist of Glow - Clara Bell
8. 2 Many Hoes - Jay-Z
9. Rick James - 213
10. Chi-City - Common

Fired. Tired. Wired.

"If travel is searching and home what's been found, I'm not stopping. I'm going hunting" - Björk, Hunter

Okay. Here's the story (or at least the parts I can tell):

Friday morning started like any other Friday morning - me getting up, reading the paper, planning out what I was going to post for LAist with Good Day LA on the TV. I got in to work a little early because I had a conference call to make about a new project I had been requested to work on from one of our their productions that is out of state. After a month of not having director's meetings, we finally had one. We started with the roundtable of updates. I had even come prepared. I had a bunch of stuff to talk about. Director's meeting over, I went back to my office and had a staff meeting with my staff.

We laughed and joked about several things and discussed some projects.

45 minutes later, I got a call from HR asking that me and my entire staff come up for a meeting at 1:15.

How odd.

We went up to the conference room at 1:15. By 1:30, we were heading back down in the elevator all kinds of oddly giggly and began packing up our areas and cleaning up our computers.

It was all very surreal.

The whole day, I was alternating between amused and annoyed. I'm amused because, for me, this is kind of exactly what I wanted. I knew my vision of what my department should be focusing on wasn't the same as where the company is headed. I knew I was no longer very happy or interested with the projects we were producing or developing. I wasn't very happy with the changes in company culture or structure in he 18 months since Mary-Ellis had passed. And that's not to say that where they are headed is wrong or anything. It just wasn't the place I had grown to love in the last two years that it had been in my first five.

I'm amused because I had sent out an email in June to a bunch of folks basically saying I was on my way out of that joint. That I had done my time and it was time to move on to the next chapter of my life. I'm amused because it was fast becoming time to negotiate a new contract and I had been seriously considering negotiating a severance package much like my friends and colleagues at mtv.com had done earlier this summer and taking some time to figure out what I wanted to do in the world.

So, I got my wish. The universe tends to do that for me.

I'm annoyed because my staff is not nearly in the same position I'm in. I'm annoyed because I wish I had been able to prepare them for the transition. I'm annoyed because we were in the middle of several projects that I worry won't get finished or won't get finished "correctly" and that people that depend on the services of our department are going to be left in a lurch for a while. I'm not sure people in the company realize the resource we have been to lots of other areas that don't have to do with web.

The small amount of vindictiveness I have about this situation is that I hope the next week or two or three are filled with little bumps in the road that nobody expected.

But, truly, I don't have many complaints.

I'm not sad about losing my job. I'm not sad about my time there. Most of the major parts of my life now have some connection with the relationships and experience I gained at BMP.

So, what now?

I'm on vacation, y'all. At least for the next month. I'll take a look at some gigs and probably do some freelance work (both web and written) but mostly I'm going to enjoy the time. I'm going to prepare for my move (I take over Ariel's house on October 5th). I'm going to tae bo like crazy. I'm going to catch up on my 52 in 52 and my 101 in 1001. LAist is going to get my full attention.

I'm going to lunch and dinner and drink drinks and relax my ass off.

Maybe me, Hov and the MVP will get words on the backs of our necks. Me: fired. Hov: tired. MVP: wired.

I'm not hurting for cash.

I'm not worried about not being able to find a new job.

I'm just going to do what the beat say do.

My Sense of Humor

 

the Wit (78% dark, 30% spontaneous, 16% vulgar)

your humor style: CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat. I  guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff  writer. Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais AND FINALLY -- after you rate my test with a sweet, sweet '5' -- you must take this test next: The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Test. It's not mine, but it rocks.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on dark You scored higher than 0% on spontaneous You scored higher than 0% on vulgar

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating

Hookers & Blow

"I changed my mind. I changed my mind. I changed my mind."  - Lyrics Born, Changed My Mind (Stere MC's Rattlesnake Mix)

So, I'm laid off with a decent sized severance package.

I could live off of it for 6 months or go on the bender to end all benders.

Where's the party at?