She sat next to me in a coding rhythm rapidly typing, flipping back and forth between windows and applications. She wields her macbook like Annie Oakley and I feel like a rank amateur. Actually, no, I'm impressed and a bit awed.
Actually, no, I'm asleep -- snoring, apparently -- and my mind went...
I'm talking to her in her home but its not her home. The wood is too dark. The rooms as a whole are too dark. We're talking. She's wearing green. Except now its blue. And then some swirl of something. I think something of it but nothing of it. Someone's hands cover my eyes. B. Brown says, "guess who came to see you?!" and I have no idea. Except then I do. But now I don't.
We all sit and talk about dinner. There is no food. We must go to the grocery. I must go to the grocery. We, the friend (not the girlfriend) and I will go to the grocery. We will ride bikes. Why do we have bikes? Why are we at the top of this steep hill? Why is it a patchwork of brick and stone? Why am I suddenly scared? Where has my friend gone?
I take the hill. Immediately, I am going too fast. I press on the brakes. The brakes do not work. I'm afraid. I'm near panic. The incline levels before going down a steeper fall. I hit the leveled area like a shot and fly out pass the edge into the air. The bike touches nothing. I want to yell but I don't. I want to pump the brakes again but I don't. I hit land again and the speed is now breakneck. The bottom is near. I can see black rails, a true cliff, and water. This is the end.
Except.
Except at the bottom, I break. I turn. There's the store.
There's the girlfriend (not the friend) and she already has what we need.
Blueberries.
We (she and me) are in my parent's house. Sort of. There is an odd conversation I don't understand and then suddenly I'm in the car with my mom. We're driving through a canyon. Las Virgines Road, I think, although sometimes it becomes Mulholland Drive. We are in a Range Rover that feels far too wide for the road. I don't know where we're headed. Oncoming traffic picks up and it feels like we'll crash at every turn. Have I mentioned I'm the passenger? My mom stops. To the left of us is a rocky off-road "path". The drive will be perilous. She looks at me once and I grab her arm. "What are you doing?!" I try to shout but nothing comes out. She backs up slightly and then breaks left driving onto the craggy terrain. The wheels drag and spin. Dirt sprays every which way. She hits a space where the ground gives way and we roll off the side of the mountain downward. I think I should scream but don't. The ground barrels towards us as we descend.
And then.
And then we right ourselves. We pull into a driveway that I do not recognize.
My mom turns to me and says, "Don't doubt. Just be."
Everything's going to be alright.