The Two Zeros: The Best Album of 2003 - Speakerboxxx/The Love Below

"Finding a way to get in, to fit in." - Outkast, GhettoMusick

Back in 2003, there was no question that this was my favorite album(s) of the year. Now, looking back, I had a debate. I return to Jay-Z's The Black Album more often. I could listen to Jigga's Public Service Announcement several times a day without getting bored or sick of it. I listened to Speakerboxxx/The Love Below so much in 2003 and 2004, that I, in fact, did get sick of it but I think that's the point.

I did a lot of trying to figure me out in 2003. I pushed myself to my physical limits by training for and running a marathon. I'd made a commitment to find a new love and failed. I'd had my, to that point, most successful professional year—BMP promoted me to Director; Lynne hired me to write a few things for vibe.com—but, ultimately, I didn't quite know who I was. I ended the year with some regrets that, thankfully,  I no longer harbor, but it was the first time as an adult that I had been filled with self-doubt. I had been faced with some big personal challenges and come up short.

The Love Below and Andre 3000's creative exploration aligned with my own internal spelunking. The Love Below could barely be called Hip Hop. It was both forward looking and homage to those spacey funk sounds of the 70s. Much of his writing dealt with his own failures and successes in relationships and as a human being. It felt new and inviting and I could relate.

I had no time for Speakerboxxx when the album first was released. At first blush, I critiqued Big Boi's contribution, wrongly, as just another hip hop record. Superb hip hop but nothing I hadn't heard before. Six years later and what's true is that I return again and again to Speakerboxxx. As I've gotten more sure of myself, I've appreciated Big Boi's certainty and bravado as well. He knows who the hell he is and he's still inventive and energetic and entertaining. And smart.

No disrespect to Andre but in 2003, I equated quirky and different with wit and intelligence. Looking back on my writing, that's obvious. I'm older now, though, and I know that while there's value in breaking convention and treating everything like a blank slate to explore, often, the best stuff comes when you're constrained. When you color within the lines. When you find you can still be yourself inside the box.

The Speakerboxxx.

Huh!