"Looking in a mirror but I don't see much." - Rick Ross, Tears of Joy
December 20 – Beyond Avoidance
What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
(Author: Jake Nickell)
I should've gone to the doctor (and the dentist) but didn't. This is lame but I have to admit that I have fears here. The dentist one is reasonable. The last two times I went to the dentist, I left feeling like I'd been in fights with Mike Tyson. I had a crack tooth removed and it was a difficult one. I have good strong teeth (always have) and I don't go to the dentist mostly because it's easy to forget that I should. I've prioritized it down.
The doctor, however, I guess I have to admit I have a lot of anxiety about my health. I've talked about how I don't feel like I'm taking care of myself and that plays out in avoiding the doctor's office too. I think about check-ups and physicals like I thought about report cards in school. I don't want bad grades and I know I haven't put in the work to deserve more than a C and maybe much worse. So even though I had put some pretty specific goals in place in my personal operating plan for 2010, including taking advantage of my very nice employer provided health benefits, I haven't (besides my annual visit to the eye doctor and some sweet new glasses).
This has to change in 2011. I'm reading The 4 Hour Body and Tim Ferriss makes the point that we need the data to set goals and track improvements. I know that's true from when I was doing The Instinct Diet. I was obsessed with the numbers (calories, weight, portion sizes, etc.) and as I plan to get serious about my health and wellness in just a few days, I need accurate data points to chart my progress on what I know are my current health risk factors (high blood pressure, high cholesterol).
The silly part of all this is that if I know I'm going to get bad grades, why wouldn't I just go get the results and know for sure? It's because I don't want to disappoint the doctor. It's because I like the possibility, however remote, that I'm healthier than I think I am. It provides a feeble out to make bad choices.
It's a bargaining chip that I pull out of my back pocket way too often.
No more.
In 2011, knowledge is power.
And avoiding my own demons is going out with this old year.