"Are you ready for the city? Is the city ready for you?" - The Futureheads, The City Is Here for You to Use
Tiffany moved west this week and a few things have become immediately apparent to me. First, this apartment is too small. We can survive in it just fine for awhile but there's not enough room. We'll probably add a few more pieces of furniture in the coming weeks and it'll get even more cramped. She doesn't have a good place from which to work. This is a problem considering her new gig has her mostly working from home.
Second, I've known this from before the move but our sleep patterns are really different. In comparison to me, she goes to bed early. I'm not sure what the adaption will look like but the last few days have either been her going to bed and me arriving a few hours later or me going to bed with her and then waking up in the middle of the night (like today...hello 3:30am) ready to start my day. I'm not sure what the adaptation to this will look like yet. I'm guessing I'll naturally adjust to going to bed at the same time but waking up much earlier. This is probably good for me. I can get a lot done in the mornings and my days go better when I have time to clear my busy mind before getting to work.
Third, there are things (big things, actually) that are already different in a hugely positive way for me: having someone to eat with (and who cooks and enjoys cooking) means I'm eating much healthier. On a typical Sunday, it's not uncommon for me to have Chipotle for lunch and then go out to dinner. And maybe brunch it out, too. Today, however, I made breakfast at home. I made lunch. She made dinner. I don't imagine I had more than 1500 calories today and I had a good portion of fruits and veggies mixed in to the day as well. This is amazing. If I make the switch to spending way more on groceries than restaurants (which has been the reality of the last 4 days) then I'm well on the path to the full body transformation I want in 2011 and Tiffany's habits should help with that. I mean, damnit, we had mussels for dinner. At home. She rocks.
Also, I'm much more aware of the state of the home than I have been. Sharing a space with someone means I clean way more. My kitchen has never stayed this pristine this consistently since I moved in here 5 years ago. The bathroom too (mostly). Being responsible to someone else feels good and I like doing for her. For the both of us, really.
But fourth, I think it's going to take awhile for us to truly understand that things have changed. She still talks like she's in Atlanta. I keep acting like she's on vacation. I'm sure it will balance itself out—I go back to work today; she'll start driving herself around town this week—but, at the moment, it still feels weird. Two years in a long distance relationship and you get into your own rhythms. There are set times for conversing. There is a lot more long term planning about the next trip, the big move, the big changes. Now we're moving in to the minutiae. What's for dinner? What's on TV? Where's the best store for spices, black hair care products, etc.? That will take some getting used to.
I keep expecting having to take her to the airport and preparing for the sadness that comes with that. But she's not going anywhere. Los Angeles is now home for both of us. There is still lots of big stuff on the horizon. We've still got a wedding this Spring. We've still got to find a new place to live. She's still got a new job to start and a new city to try to learn and love. I've still got big responsibilities at work. But we've also got meals to plan and coffee to make and new morning rituals and learning the little idiosyncrasies of living together.
We've spent the last two years learning how to love each other. This is just the next chapter in that story.
We started last week being of two cities. We begin this one trying to be from one.
- The Best Thing I Saw This Week: I've started watching Breaking Bad. AMC is currently replaying the series from the beginning. I don't know that I love it yet but I'm very intrigued by it. It's become my middle of the night TV friend.
- The Best Thing I Heard This Week: Le Sigh. Rick Ross's Teflon Don has been top of mind lately. I won't go nearly as far as The New York Times which named it album of the year but I must admit that I really like that album. Damnit, Rozay. Ya got me.
- The Best Thing I Read This Week: I finished Decoded last weekend. I picked up both The 4 Hour Body (which my mom also got from my dad for Christmas) and The Big Payback. Both are pretty good.
- The Thing I Read This Week That Most Resonated:
Busy-ness might feel good (like checking your email on Christmas weekend) but business means producing things of actual value. Often, the two are completely unrelated. What if you spent a day totally unbusy, and instead confronted the fear-filled tasks you’ve been putting off that will actually produce value once shipped?
Why? Because the one thought I've had about work while I've been away is that I need to focus some serious energy on, for lack of a better word yet, "un-fucking" some things. That means clearing away all the non-essential tasks and focusing on what I know will provide real value. I need to challenge my team to do the same. I've spent the last three months getting a sense of the landscape. Now, it's time to get to doing.
Business not busy-ness.
Let's go!
