Jason Toney

On Growing Up

"Cash it in or throw it all away. Never needed any of it anyway." - Zero 7, Throw It All Away

Just a few short years ago, San Francisco was my dream city. I imagined myself moving up there and living a certain kind of life. It involved sexy, smart progressive people changing the world. We'd wear our freak flags and march against everything while padding our bank accounts with whatever brainy technology magic we'd come up with at our day jobs. We'd sit in parks dressed like we were going to a show at the Fillmore after and marvel at those around us and the city we called home.

I thought about this this past weekend, more than once, as I roamed the city with Tiffany and shared deep thoughts with Felicia and others. I'm not exactly a different person than I was a few years ago but I'm a more mature version of me. One who now tires at the thought of living my imagined Bay Area life.

It's not the city that's changed. Everyone I know in that city has , like me, transformed as well. Before, when I would visit, I would have nothing but late nights. This time, I couldn't muster one. Not even on New Year's Eve. I have friends who used to succumb to every vice that are now sober and smoke free. Others are mommies and daddies who have obligations that are still completely foreign to me even as I admit that I'm a fellow grown up. Others have real challenges or worries, ones that can't be washed away with a swig of champagne or jokes about the woefully underdressed (or overdressed) visitors to Delores Park.

This is not a bad thing. Amidst the conversations of creaky joints and slowing down and good pre-schools and job security was something that wasn't quite there before. People were feeling more right in their bodies, more accepting of who they are, and of their place in the world. I feel that way more days than not lately, too.

It was fitting that we celebrated Felicia's graduation from grad school at the same time we acknowledged the flipping of the calendar. It was when I was talking with her that I most felt this changing of the seasons. I've been friends with her for over 20 years. We were kids together once. In fact, I live four doors down from the house she grew up in now to constantly remind me of that fact.

We're adults now and yet, it's a new day. A new year. We know ourselves better than we ever have. And the knees don't respond like they used to and the one time city of my dreams is just another place but there we were. It's her city now. One in which she's grown and blossomed and accomplished so much.

There we were sitting in the park surrounded by people dressed like they were going to a show at the Fillmore but I marveled at the ones I knew most well. They were—we were—ready and excited for our next adventures to begin in whatever places in the world we called home.

All grown up and yet, just beginning.

My 2012 Personal Operating Plan

"Now that you're wiser, surely you've learned to read it." - Zero 7, The Space Between

Don't know what this is all about? See 2011 & 2010.

Broad Strategic Goals

This year I want to Take Advantage of My Good Fortune. In my personal life, I want to Do More With and For the Things That Matter in my life. I will be more deliberate with how I Utilize My Time. Financial Planning will be a priority. Professionally, I will Champion Change. Creatively, I will write. Every Day.

Health and Wellness

This past year, I was most successful in two areas: taking advantage of my health care and making physical fitness a habit and priority. This year, I want to take that a step forward. I have two specific issues that I want to manage: high blood pressure and food choices.

In 2012, I will make a plan with my doctor on managing my blood pressure and follow it. I will also be conscious of my food choices. I will limit fast food to one day (a cheat day) a week and I will plan my breakfast and lunch choices ahead of time. I will not let stress hamper this decision-making.

I will come up with an appropriate disincentive for when/if I fail at this incredibly easy food plan.

Financial

Tiffany and I will acquire an accountant and also meet with a Financial Planner. We will address both short term goals (like a new car, international travel, and debt freedom) and long term ones (property ownership, retirement, capital investing, etc.).

I will do something I've rarely done in my nearly 37 years, care about money in more ways beyond am I making enough to cover what I spend.

Career

I will Champion Change. I will do the work to prepare my team for the future. I will spend more time invested in understanding our business and audience, pushing for the best possible content and content creation opportunities, and in looking forward. This is a change year but more than that it's a people year. 

I will remind myself of this regularly.

Creativity and Learning

This year is all about muscle memory. I must get back in the habit of creating constantly. So, whilst I expect to be spending a lot of time reading about and talking to my peers about running editorial outfits and creative houses, the most important thing for me is this: Blog. Every Day.

No excuses.

Travel

I'd like to be on a plane or taking a road trip at least once a month every month this year. I'd also like to get to Europe or South America, too.

Friends and Family

This year, I want to go deeper with my elders. I'd like to truly know their complicated stories and histories and maybe help them fill in the blanks they might have. I'm increasingly aware of how little I know about what came before me and I'd like to before I lose the opportunity to do so.

Love

The goal is to not get comfortable. Stay romantic. Stay interested. Stay desirable. She's not my roommate, she's the love of my life.

The Mantra For The Year: Go Big

Go big. Get big. Be big. Live big.

Let's Go!

Soundtrack to this post

• The Space Between by Zero 7
• Spaz by N*E*R*D
• Still a Man by Raphael Saadiq
• Stomp by The Roots
• Strange Ways (Koushik Remix) by Madvillain
• Sunchild (Reprise) by Thief
• Sunrise by Childish Gambino
• SunStorm by Zo!
• Table For Two by Little Brother
• (There Is) No Great Love by Amy Winehouse
• Yo Yo Jazz - Nicola Conte Rework by Big Bang
• The Heart Gently Weeps by Wu-Tang Clan
• A Roller Skating Jam Named 'Saturdays' by De La Soul 

Mid-Week Wake Up Call: Menu and Hours

"No more backwards thinking. Time for thinking ahead." - Rae & Christian, Wake Up Everybody

 

Alexia Tsotsis of Techcrunch puts it like this, "When you’re starving you don’t want to read through thousands of Yelp reviews on your phone or download a random PDF from a terrible restaurant website that’s so slow-load it’s indecipherable. You just want to know where a restaurant is, what it has to eat, and whether or not it’s open."

That's why my friend Michelle Jones is building the Menu and Hours app. Michelle has been saving people time and aggravation for as long as I've known her. She's Louisville's premier local blogger and, in my estimation, the city's greatest ambassador. Everything she writes about on Consuming Louisville is about two things -- how can she make Louisville citizens' lives easier and how can she celebrate her home that she loves so much.

I thought about this just yesterday when we were chatting about her monthly twitter reminders of when senior citizens are likely to be dominating the local grocery stores. It's such a small thing right? But for those of us who value our time, knowing to delay our grocery shopping a day or two can save hours. It also saves our older friends the aggravation of hearing young folks sigh and complain because they don't move fast enough for our tastes.

Menu and Hours is that kind of thoughtfulness in a bigger package. Michelle is too kind to say so but, most of the time, restaurant websites are awful. And, review sites are great when you don't know what you want to eat but not so much if you've got specific questions. I was reminded of that this past weekend as I spent a lot of time trying to figure out the whens and whats of restaurants I wanted to eat at all weekend. Just tell me when you're open and what brunch looks like, darnit!

Michelle wants to save me and you time and aggravation with an app that will give us the information we want and none of the extra noise we don't. Those resolving to go on the information diet (like I am) in 2012 should be all about this.

So, I'm putting my money where my mouth is. I believe in the concept and more importantly, I believe in Michelle. She's got about 9 more days to reach her funding goal and is about 2/3rds of the way there. After I push post here, I'm going to update my backing level at kickstarter.

Big ideas and bigger people deserve big support. If you're so inclined, I encourage you to do so as well.

Wake up!

Soundtrack to this post

• Wake Up Everybody by Rae & Christian
• Waves (The Time That You're Awake) by The Elected
• Awake by Lands & Peoples
• Wake Up Africa (J.Period Remix) by J.Period & Nneka
• Wake Up Everybody by John Legend and The Roots
• Wake Me When I'm Dead by The Brand New Heavies
• Wake Up World (Interlude) by J.Period & Nneka
• Wake Up In Another Life by Nicolay
• Trouble Sleep Yanga Wake Am by Taj Mahal, Baaba Maal, Kaouding Cissoko & antibalas

Nudge

"Ain't no drag." - James Brown, Papa's Got A Brand New Bag (Part 1)

On the plane yesterday, the flight attendant offered me some two packs of peanuts. I wasn't hungry and I knew I wasn't going to eat them but I took them anyway. Her outstretched hand elicited a pavlovian response from me. I sent my left hand out to receive what was offered without even thinking. The nuts sit in my backpack right now...uneaten.

This afternoon, I walked past a person I normally see as I come into the office in the AM. "Hello," she said. "Good morning," I responded. It was 4pm.

In both instances I was reminded of Nudge's discussions of human behavior. How inertia and the automatic functions of our brain lead us certain places. Often to places our thinking, more reasoning brain matter wouldn't want us to be...if the situation was altered just slightly so that we'd have to think about it in the right way.

I went in to Nudge expecting eye-opening tips and guidance at a micro level: what could I do as an individual to improve my decision-making around Health, Wellness, and Happiness, as their tag line proclaims. Instead, what I mostly got was a macro-view that seems to be talking to policy makers about how they can improve the way they do business with "humans" making complex decisions.

Great, I guess? Sure, I'm going to take a look at my 401(k) and make sure I've made the right choice for me and, sure, I enjoyed the discussions about human behavior and why we are likely to make bad choices about things that are very important but, ultimately, it wasn't what I was looking for.

Give me something practical about how to nudge me towards better food decisions (the opening anecdote about cafeteria planning didn't really cut it) and, really, there isn't much about actual health and happiness in the book. There's a lot of great stuff about financial planning but...

But, where was the meat? If you're going to lay out such a compelling explanation of human behavior, inertia and our lizard brains and all that, give me something that's actionable as an individual. Some tools and tips to recognize and adapt my nature.

Because now I'm stuck with nuts I don't want and the receptionist thinks I don't know how to tell time.

Soundtrack to this post

• Papa Got a Brand New Bag (part 1) - James Brown
• I Got You (I Feel Good) - James Brown
• Ain't That A Groove - James Brown
• It's A Man's, Man's, Man's World - James Brown
• Money Won't Change You - James Brown
• Don't Be A Dropout - James Brown

2011 Personal Operating Plan Performance Report

"We go hard. I mean macro hard. Never microsoft." - Phonte, We Go Off

Refresh your memory with The 2011 Personal Operating Plan. Also, here's last year's performance report.

My Broad Strategic Goals

In everything I do this year, the goal is to Provide Value. In my personal life, I will be more deliberate with my Kindness and Compassion. I will also Love Harder. Health and Wellness will be a priority. Professionally and creatively, I will embrace Breaking Some Eggs, Breaking Some Rules, and Challenging the Status Quo. 

Overwhelmingly, my goals this past year were focused on my job. 12 months ago, we were in the middle of enormous change, upheaval, and uncertainty at work. I was 3 months into my role as an executive and still trying to figure things out. And I had this sense that it was a watershed moment. I could play it safe—JT Plays It Cool—or I could push.

I put two hands out in front of me and shoved hard. But, y'know, always with my signature smile on my face.

Career

In the past year, I got a new boss. He also got a new boss. I lost colleagues. I gained team members. My team's responsibilities broadened. Meanwhile, our technical and creative resources shrank. Our ability to hire supplemental resources to meet demand was limited.

And still, we shipped. We moved to a daily content update schedule in most areas that we manage. We launched several major stunts (including one of the biggest of the Summer). We pushed our organization and focus from site production to content creation and editorial planning. 

We maintained a whole lot of  stability and certainty in the midst of constant flux. And, we provided value.

And, true to our goals, to my goals, we celebrated and showcased that value to the highest levels by the end of the year.

Boom.

Love

Tiffany B. Brown didn't run screaming after 5 months of living together and we married each other on May 14th. We also moved into a house that we can both call our own and had an amazing honeymoon in Indonesia in November. The goal, however, was to Love Harder.

Did I do that?

I'm not the best judge of this as in matters of the heart, I'm most likely to think about the most recent success or failure and I've felt like I haven't quite been hitting it out of the park over the last month so...I don't know.

What I do know, I was the most open, honest, and vulnerable with a person this year than I've ever been with anyone. Tiffany gets to/has to see me at my weakest, lowest, least attractive...and she still hasn't run away screaming.

Maybe I'm doing something right.

Travel

The main goal was to travel internationally in 2011. 2 weeks in Indonesia with hours in the airports in Hong Kong and Seoul. 

Boom.

I also made it to Austin, New Orleans, San Francisco, and Greensboro. Not nearly enough travel overall, though.

Friends and Family

I feel like I failed miserably at this this year. Sure, we had that one incredible week in NOLA but did I see my favorite people on a committed, regular basis? I don't feel like I did. More and differently, perhaps. There were Summer parties at the house. We did have a stream of house guests once we got into the house but weeks go by when I don't see folks.

I never made it to New York to see my sister in her element. Lucky for me, she came back to California. So did my grandmother.

And this past weekend in San Francisco was a huge exclamation point on friendship, spending quality time with my longest standing friend...but we'll save that for another post, I think.

Hmmm, maybe I'm being too hard on myself. In Mouse House language, I'll say Im right on track here but with definite opportunities for growth in 2012.

Creativity and Learning

Okay, I was a total fool with my goal last year and made it far too large and daunting. With so much going on, where was there going to be time to do something I hadn't done consistently since college?

Spectacular failure here.

Financial

Life is good. We're not debt free yet (surprise, a wedding, even one smartly underplanned, crowd-sourced, and frugal like ours, still comes with a gigantor bill) but we are well on our way. It's nice to be in position to think about financial growth rather than survival every week.

Health and Wellness

Wow, I actually did pretty well here. I saw all my health care providers. I joined a gym. I go to personal training twice a week.

I still struggle with food choices. I still have high blood pressure. My weight is still not where I want it. All that's true but what is also true is I feel really good right now. I feel strong. I feel like I'm on the right track. I feel like I'm positioned really well to finally win over some of these demons in 2012. Oh, and while I still hang with Daily Mile, health month is no longer in my tackle box.

I did some significant leveling up this year. I'd say I'm Moving Ahead.

Soundtrack to this post

• All of Phonte's Charity Starts At Home

Music and Me in 2011

"Like when autumn leaves fall down from the trees." - The Roots, Sleep

 

Undun is the album of the year. For the second year in a row, The Unstoppable Roots Crew have shown themselves to be the strongest, most thoughtful, most interesting, and most adept artists in my field of vision. And that's saying something considering how excellent other bands, most notably The Black Keys, have been during this time frame.

 

Up until sitting down to write this, Watch The Throne was going to be my album of the year. Despite it's sometimes questionable lyrical content, that is the album I've listened to the most this year. That bombastic celebration of "black excellence, opulence, decadence" appeals to me. What can I say? But, Undun is thoughtful, literary, expansive. ?uest, Thought, and the crew (with help from some of my other favorite contemporary artists like Phonte and Sufjan Stevens) are telling a story. A wonderfully complicated and dark story that seems more reflective of this moment in time for the average person while Jay-Z and 'Ye focused on their own extra-ordinariness.

 

That might move butts but it doesn't satisfy the soul. That's what The Roots are here for.

 

Overall, though, this wasn't the best year for full length albums. There were very few "OH MY GOD" purchases...at least not ones that stood the test of time. However, you would not go wrong with having the following in your collection:

• Undun - The Roots
• Watch The Throne - Jay-Z & Kanye West
• James Blake - James Blake
• 21 - Adele
• Rebirth of New Orleans - The Rebirth Brass Band
• Dear Friends: An Evening with Foreign Exchange - Foreign Exchange
• Charity Starts At Home - Phonte
• Lioness: Hidden Treasures - Amy Winehouse
• El Camino - The Black Keys
• There's More To Life Than This - Ben Westbeech

The reality is despite having new services like Spotify at my disposal, I listened to less music this year which, to my surprise, is a three year long trend. With increased responsibilities at work and less alone time at home, I have less time for music exploration. I also have fewer moments dedicated to music discovery, depending heavily on last.fm to lead me towards artists I don't know about but probably should. I'm not sure I made it into a record store this year that wasn't digital. I know I have very few music blogs or human music recommenders in my life despite an increase in following more music folk on twitter.

I'd like to increase my music exploration this year. Got any music blog recommendations?

In other news, I really enjoyed pop music this year. For all the lack of great albums, there were a lot of really good really catchy ear-wormy tunes this year and I'm not ashamed to have liked them...and bought them. Rihanna, Maroon 5, Lupe Fiasco, Mindless Behavior, Beyonce, David Guetta, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and, lord help me, Chris Brown all put out dancy headnoddy tunes that I was all about.

I even find LMFAO's mindless pap enjoyable in a cotton candy kind of way. I couldn't bring myself to buy their songs but I surely don't change the channel when they show up on the radio or TV.

I could do with less of the global ibiza dance party sound overall but having traveled to the other side of the world this year, I can see why artists are making that music...it's big everywhere. The number of videos by artists who just a few years ago where rapping or singing from the corner that now feature them in jets, on sandy beaches and partying on stage with skinny chicks of non-descript origin and DJs who look like they never sleep is kind of overwhelming.

But I'm not mad. Times is hard. The world is going through big changes. And people want to dance their pain away.

I just hope that in 2012 it stops all sounding like the same song on endless loop.

Posted via email from The Pensieve

#resound11: One Word

"Migrating to a higher plane of consequence." - De La Soul, Stakes is High (Amerigo Gazeway Soul version)

Prompt 31: One Word

Earlier this month, we wrote about our one word to describe 2011. Today, let's write about our one word for 2012. What word do you want to use to describe how you will approach 2012?

Big.

In 2012, I want to go big. Love big. Share big. Care big. Real Gs do real things. Big things. I'm entering 2012 with life being very good. It's time to take advantage of my good fortune and hard work and not let opportunities to do big things go by. To commit fully to great ideas, great possibilities, positive changes, exciting projects, soul-fulfilling ideas, and see them through. 

My tendency is to run hot on something in the beginning and then to lose interest/commitment as it goes. This year, I want to see things through to the finish line. If I do...

I understand that when I go big, I can help people achieve their goals and dreams.

 

When I go big, I can help improve the lives of others.

 

When I go big, I can live a life without regret.

 

When I go big, good things come.

 

Stakes is high, y'all, so I gotta go higher.

 

Go big. Get big. Be big. Live big.

 

Let's go!

Posted via email from The Pensieve

#resound11 Today Is All You Have

"I should start living today. Today is gonna be the day." - The Roots, The Day

Prompt 23: Today Is All You Have
It's true, today is all you have, so why not make the most of it? Describe your perfect day, one that you've had this year or one that you'd like to have next year. What makes it perfect for you?

 Drunk as hell but no throwin' up. Halfway home and my pager's still blowin' up.

I wake up just before the sunrise and look over to see her next to me, rising as well. I'm thinking about working out but the bed is too comfortable and then [redacted].

The weather is that perfect spring or fall kinda day. The sun is bright but not roasting us. There's a light but cool breeze in the air. It's warm enough to enjoy breakfast and a good e-book or the day's news (via digital device) outside. It's a light, balanced meal (perhaps a Japanese breakfast of eggs, rice, and veggies or a pastry and some juice) because I prepare to be a glutton later.
 

The location matters not but the day's activities are centered around new adventures. I will see things that will delight my senses and ignite my mind. If I'm lucky, and this is my perfect day so, of course I will, we'll find ourselves making a wrong turn and having an unexpected journey filled with surprises and, maybe, just a little danger. Whatever it is, there will be a story: one I will always enjoy telling and one that will get wonderfully embellished with each rendition.

 

We'll have eye opening and charming conversations with strangers. I'll happen upon someone I haven't seen in awhile and shocked faces, warm hugs, and pleasantries will be exchanged. I'll remark upon how odd it was to run into so-and-so, even though this is my life and that seems to be a common occurrence. But serendipity shall be acknowledged with shock rather than smug expectance which I'm likely doing on the inside.

 

I'll have opportunity to try on funny hats or strike an odd pose in hopes of inspiring laughter. My jokes will hit. All of them. I'll have a few moments of quiet where time will seem to slow to a crawl and I'll be able to look out on the world before me and grab hold of something deeper. I'll recognize some personal truth about this life and feel right in my skin.

 

The meals will be glorious. Lunch will be at some hole in the wall that looks slightly dangerous on the outside but serves spectacular local fare on the inside. Dinner will be fancy and feature at least three magnificent bites of food. We will try street food and declare it our new favorite.

 

It's 11pm now, and for some reason, I haven't tired. Someone has told us of this great night spot that's playing music that we'd love to dance to and, of course, we want to dance. A quick change into my best duds and we're off, dancing and sweating until the lights come up.

 

As we cab home, my phone (battery still full!) is aglow with notifications from around the world. My loved ones are thinking of me and know that I'm thinking of them.

 

Her head is own my shoulder. I lay my head back on the headrest and smile.

 

Today was a good day.

 

Posted via email from The Pensieve

#resound11: Five Things (Honeymoon Edition)

"All the pieces matter." - Det. Lester Freamon, ...and all the pieces matter, Five Years of Music From The Wire

Prompt 28: Five Things
Take today to jot down five memories that you would like to never forget about 2011. Try to write about five things you haven't shared yet, but if you need to repeat, that's OK!

What will be known henceforth as Our Creature Story
The walk we took in Ubud (Bali, Indonesia) in which we found the source of the constant cock-a-doodle doing in our resort (caged roosters), saw cows and monkeys (one chained to a building and several roaming free), got harassed by wild dogs, and I stepped on a dead snake. Then, we arrived back at our villa where the Today gecko squatting in our room decided to be cheeky and poop right in front of me before exiting the room to copulate with another lizard.

The Pool at The Ahimsa, Jimbaran Bay, Bali, Indonesia
[Details redacted]

The Japanese Wedding Party, Jimbaran Bay, Bali Indonesia
In which we ate a wonderful meal of grilled fish, lobster, and shrimp whilst watching a Japanese Wedding party at the adjacent beach side restaurant to ours get increasingly drunk and boisterous resulting in one of their party—probably the groom—getting pantsed in the water...and left out there to the delight of their group and our amusement. It was a clear night, sure, but we had a perfect view of his full moon and stars.

A Cell Phone Swims With The Fishes, Cibubur, Jakarta, Indonesia
In which I am enjoying feeding the fish before our dinner and Tiffany comes to join me. And, just as she drops down to the sea side step, her phone plops into the water. 10 minutes later, it is being rescued by the wait staff and, after a week in some rice, it is mostly working again. She's still using it today. See Also: The Best Meal.

It's A Small World After All, Our entire honeymoon travels
It was both comforting and somewhat depressing to be inundated with so much America whilst being completely on the other side of the world. The depressing? How much America has infected cultures around the world. From Starbucks and McDonalds to cover bands doing American hits and American tv shows syndicated everywhere, if you chose, you could go through Indonesia getting just the barest hints of what the culture is really like there. As was the case, unfortunately, for much of our time in Indonesia, we ate too often at American chains hearing American music.

The comforting part? Connecting with people over the excitement of Barack Obama visiting the country and finding others seeking to connect with us around their relationship to the States. Whether it was the bar manager at the Intercontinental who had spent many years in the states (particularly Atlanta) or our new cousin-in-law who helped translate language and culture to us on the wedding day or even our waiter at the Hard Rock who had visited California before and tried to keep us sauced in stiff drinks to insure we had a "hot Saturday night", those moments of genuine affection and connection with home helped me feel less like a stranger in a strange land and more like a small piece of a much bigger picture.

And you know what the most important moments of the year were already, right?

#resound11: Everything's Going to be OK

"I made it out of all a that but I ain't gonna be proud of that." - T.I., Here Ye, Hear Ye (feat. Sk8brd)

Prompt 27: Everything's Going to be OK
What is one thing, a sign if you will, that has shown you that things will be just fine in 2012?

I don't think I've ever began a year fearful that things wouldn't be "just fine" so I'm not sure why I would start now.

Every year is filled with it's complications and challenges, great and small. The question is always about how you will face them.

Increasingly, I meet them head on. So, if there's a sign that things will be just fine in 2012, it's me.

I still have a short-term memory for the bad, mad, and sad. I stil believe that I can handle whatever comes. And I'm a year wiser.

Why I think 2012 just might be great, though? Because I have fewer blind spots. I know where I can improve my health. I have a greater sense of where I'm headed professionally.

*knocks wood*

And, as I noted in great detail yesterday, I'm not in this by myself.

So, unless the Mayans were right, I expect 2012 to kick serious behind.

Ya heard?

Soundtrack to this post 

• Here Ye Hear Ye by T.I.
• Section 18 (Everything Starts At The Seam) by The Polyphonic Spree
• Everything by Sleater-Kinney
• Everything Is Everything (Acoustic) by Phoenix
• (Theme From) Everything Ends by American Analog Set
• Everythng I Am by Kanye West
• Everything Man by Talib Kweli
• Everything Is Fair by A Tribe Called Quest