Jason Toney

#resound11: Elevator Speech

"Allow me to re-introduce myself." - Jay-Z, Public Service Announcement (Interlude)

Prompt 20: Elevator Speech
If you had 30-90 seconds to describe yourself (give an elevator speech), how would you sum up who you are? 

You know that thing? That thing that's nagging at you from the back of your brain? That thing that when you're feeling your strongest, you actually believe is a good idea...maybe even a great idea. That thing you've been sitting on. That thing that you let the little haters on your shoulders tell you you can't do. That thing that you convince yourself will be too difficult. That thing you're too scared to try because you'd rather wonder if it's good or not than risk failure.

You know that thing? Well, I'm the guy who can help you take that first step. I'm the guy that will remind you that anything's possible. I'm the guy who sees the best in you. I'm the guy who will provide clarity and sensible advice when necessary but is more likely to remind you that you kick ass when the going gets tough.

I'm the guy that believes humans can slay dragons.

I'm not your life coach. I'm your life cheerleader.

I'm that dude.

ding.

This is my floor. Let's go.

#resound11: Then and Now

"Maybe you don't need the help, but I just want to see for myself." - Drake, Do It Now

Prompt 19: Then and Now
What was your life like a decade ago? How has your life changed since then? If you're not feeling wordy today, why not show us some then and now portraits of yourself?

10 years ago today, I wasn't a blogger.

10 years ago today, I didn't work at Disney.

10 years ago today, I wasn't married.

10 years ago today, I didn't even know my wife (although parts of our lives had already crossed).

10 years ago today, I was struggling to make ends meet.

10 years ago today, I was friends with a bunch of people who aren't really in my life much anymore (What's up to Anna and Felicia who still are!)

10 years ago today, I didn't really know who I was. I had yet to spend years defining my identity through blogging. I had yet to see my world expand beyond Southern California and my recently broken heart. I was content to under-achieve in a job that was far too easy and didn't quite align with my own values/ethics. I knew a lot of fun, smart, talented people but most of the work we did wasn't about anything except appealing to our audiences most base instincts.

10 years ago today, I saw a lot more live music. I partied a lot more. I pined for women who weren't interested in me.

10 years ago today, I laughed a lot and was most fulfilled when I was making others laugh as well. That's not much different now. I listened to music constantly, much as I do now. Back then, though, most of my music selections came from magazines and Garth Trinidad's Chocolate City and friend recommendations. Today, the internet and recommendation engines are my most common guides.

10 years ago today, I couldn't have envisioned my life now. I'm not all that different and yet everything is changed.

Now is awesome.

Soundtrack to this post

• Ain't No Stopping Us Now by Larry Gold
• Do It Now by Drake
• Gonna Get Along Without You Now by She and Him
• Hate You Now by Diddy-Dirty Money
• Hurting Me Now by Sia
• Not Long Now by James Blake

#resound11: Appreciation

"When it all goes down, baby, all we got is us." - Pete Rock, Appreciate (ft. CL Smooth)

Prompt 17: Appreciate
What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

This is easy. Of course, I appreciate all the hard work and love that our chosen family brought to the table for our wedding but I worry I have talked that up a little too much this year. So, instead, here's the other thing I've grown to appreciate greatly:

Home cooked meals.

Tiffany cooks most nights around these parts and she's good at it. Before she moved here, a year ago today in fact, I was a fast food regular with Sharky's and Chipotle and Taco Llama being my go-to dinner choices. My waist reflected as much, too.

But Tiffany enjoys cooking. She likes experimenting. She has a similar adventurous palate to my own and so, we eat. Often in front of the TV but, honestly, I most enjoy when we eat at our little kitchen table and talk. Just last night I learned about what Christmas was like in her house growing up and how she celebrated (or didn't) in the years before we were together.

Those home cooked meals often become moments to reaffirm our commitment to each other. They remind me that I'm with the right partner and that we complement each other well.

It's a rare day when I'm not a member of the clean plate club. And the owner of a full heart.

<schmoop />

Soundtrack to this post

• Love & Appreciate by Murs
• Appreciate ft. CL Smooth by Pete Rock
• Appreciate Me by Kelis
• Love and Appreciate II (feat. Tyler Woods) by Murs
• Unappreciated by Cherish

#resound11: Ordinary Extraordinary

"We both still have room left to grow." - John Legend, Ordinary People

Prompt 16: Ordinary Extraordinary
Sometimes the most ordinary, mundane things can turn into extraordinary moments. What was one of your most extraordinary ordinary moments this year?

I take the bus to work most days. It's a 15 minute ride on a not very busy route of the valley that goes from the Sherman Oaks Galleria to Glendale Station but I get off right in the heart of North Hollywood.

I have my routine. Headphones on with my starred tracks in Spotify as the soundtrack for the trip. If I can, I sit in the seat directly adjacent to the rear door so I can get out easy. Sometimes I read using the Kindle app on my phone but mostly I watch. Bus riding folks are an interesting bunch.

Some mornings there's a woman that gets on at Hazeltine and Magnolia. She's easily in her 60s and petite but strong. She walks with a slight limp but I imagine she was a dancer. Maybe still is. She rocks those sweats that many of the much younger dancers wear who go to the dance studios around our office. She's heavy on the makeup but not unfortunately so. She's got several piercings in each ear.

There's an aura around her that says: I want to be noticed but not fucked with.

I appreciate her presence every time I get the chance to ride with her.

A few stops down the way, at Coldwater and Magnolia, there's another older woman that gets on. 50s I would guess. Sensible shoes and pants. A no-nonsense hair-do. She rides for only a few stops every time she catches the bus (which is nearly every day) but she always has three or four really heavy bags. One is a large and well worn leather travel bag but the others are white garbage bags filled to the brim and, it just occurs to me now, that they are likely filled with laundry or linens. (Thanks resound for pushing me to relive this and answer a great mystery of the year.)

Anyway, every day I watch the act of her getting on, along with everyone else. She waits for other folks to get on and get their seats before she brings on two of her bags. She sets them down and then rushes out and brings her other two bags on. We watch her strain to do this. I watch her strain and think nothing of it.

Not true.

I think, "Oh, she should have a cart or something...I wonder how she gets those bags to the bus stop...where is she going?"

On this day, though, before I could start to think that, the petite aging ballerina is up out of her seat and rushing out to help the woman with her second load. She helps her so that she only has to make one trip and then gets back to her seat without much more beyond a breathy, exhausted "Thank You" from the laundry lady and a nod and a wave back.

I was shamed.

I was inspired.

A small act of kindness, an ordinary act, costs us nothing but the action. The reward even if it's just the smallest relief of the burdens, sometimes quite literally, on the shoulders of a fellow human?

Extraordinary.

Soundtrack to this post

• Ordinary People by John Legend
• No Ordinary Caveman by Head Like A Kite
• An Ordinary Day by Bent
• Extraordinary Machine by Fiona Apple
• Ordinary Guy by Joe Bataan
• Ordinary Guy (Gypsy Woman version) by Joe Bataan
• Ordinary Guy (45 version) by Joe Bataan

#resound11: Discovery

"How long am I supposed to wait?" - Discovery, Can You Discover?

Prompt 15: Discovery
What discovery did you make in 2011? What kind of impact did it have on how you view the world today?

"We lose weeks like buttons, like pencils." —Dave Eggers

I discovered that the older I get, the faster time moves. In the blink of an eye it's been weeks since I've seen someone, days since I failed to return that call, hours that I let an issue linger without facing it.

Those moments don't come back. That missed video chat was a lost opportunity to see a needed smile or have a good laugh or learn something deep about the people I care for. That unsettled issue lays in wait like a mine waiting to explode later when it could've been defused with just a little quality time and passionate conversation. That excuse of not having enough time means important things linger unfinished like doctor's appointments and paperwork. I don't have enough time so I miss out on acknowledging important personal milestones of those I care for most.

Those moments are lost.

Like buttons, like pencils.

I don't know if it's impacted me yet. I acknowledge here that I should not take these things that I obviously think about and care about for granted, and yet, I don't have a plan to do something about it.

A running theme for me is this desire to feel more connected to those I love. To the world, really. To not get caught up in the world "up here" and make the small but meaningful efforts to be part of the world "out there" in the here and now.

And yet.

And yet I lose weeks. Like buttons. Like pencils.

Soundtrack for this post

• Can You Discover by Discovery
• Rediscover Me by Wale
• (Who Discovered) America by Ozomatli
• Undiscovered First by Feist
• The Bad in Each Other by Feist

#resound11: Traditions

"Santa's knockin' on my door. I wonder if I should let him in?" - Soul Saints, Santa's Got A Bag of Soul

Prompt 18: Traditions
This is the time of year when families are upholding decades old traditions and working to create new ones. It doesn't matter what you celebrate (or don't) ... please share with us your December traditions: how they got started, why you continue them, and why they are special to you.

I'm skipping ahead a bit (and suspect I will get back to the two prompts before this one) but...

Both my wife and my best friend have confessed to struggling with the holidays this year and I respect and get that. It has led to some self-reflection on my part, though.

I like the winter holidays. I'm not a religious man and don't celebrate Christmas (the traditions of my family home) because of any pious reasons. The holiday, however, does represent for me some lovely traditions that have grown over time...primarily since I've been an adult.

My family doesn't see each other all that often during the year. My sister lives in New York. My mom is often travelling. I'm busy in my own world. We are almost always, however, home for Christmas. We've gotten good at getting each other meaningful gifts that reflect what we know about each other and that simple acknowledgment that, even with our busy lives, we stay connected and work to show that connection and understanding satisfies something deep in me (probably guilt over my inability, every year, to be more family oriented but that part of my tortured soul can be up for discussion another day).

This time of year also allows me to do a lot of taking stock. A look back on the previous 12 months, invariably, fills me up with a lot of love and joy: about the incredible moments that have happened in another year of life and the important people that helped make those moments happen or matter.

And that's what I enjoy about gift giving and this formal time of doing so. It provides the spark for me to take some time from primarily thinking about myself to stop and say, "Hi. I appreciate having you in my life. Here's but a small token that I hope brings you a little happiness."

 Happy Holidays.

 

#resound11: Home Is...

"No place to call your own." - Jazzanova, So Far From Home (feat. Phonte)

Prompt 14: Home Is...
When did you feel most at home this year: in your life, in your space, in your career, in your skin? What factors make that situation feel like home? Do certain comforts make your space feel like home? Does being with certain people make you feel complete? Is there an activity in which you excel that makes you feel like you're doing what you were meant to do?

This is your life. Where do you live? Where is home?

We spent the first half of 2011 looking for a new place to live. Tiffany had moved west into my 1 bedroom bachelor pad and it was obvious that she still felt the visitor. It was my stuff. It was laid out best for me. It functioned the way it had functioned for the previous 5 years, ways that the bachelor me had refined.

It was my spot. It wasn't our home.

So we recruited Carrie, good friend and even better real estate agent, to help us out. I had gotten it into my head that I wanted to move to Atwater Village. We were both pretty sure that we wanted to rent a house if at all possible and, so Carrie set out trying to make all those things happen within our budget and other requirements.

Over the next few months, we would go to open houses or make visits to properties and always find a reason to not jump on it. Too big, too small. Too old. Too weird. Something always pulled us away. I think it mostly had to do with also being in the midst of planning our wedding. That was just one too many big decisions to have to make before May 14th.

Proving that out, just a few days after we returned from New Orleans as newlyweds, Carrie sent us some new listings. One stuck out. It was in the neighborhood I grew up in (Van Nuys/Sherman Oaks) just a few doors down from where one of my best friends lived when we were in junior high and high school. Just down the street from the elementary school I used to go to to play basketball.

On our first house visit, we walked through the doors, and immediately, it felt like it could be our home. It was bright. Sun comes in from everywhere. It was open. It's a perfect place for entertaining. It had charm. The kitchen features mid century tiled counters and a mixture of old and new appliances; the den looks like the Brady bunch would've hung out there with it's wood panelling and wet bar and built in cabinets and drawers. Plus, it has a secret room.

On our second house visit, we learned the owners had grown up in the house and that we had gone to the same high school. In fact, she also does consulting work for the mouse. It all seemed like kismet.
It was.

Our third house visit wasn't a visit at all. We were moving in.

And it's been home ever since.

A good home.

Soundtrack to this post

• My Way Home (feat. Common) by Kanye West
• So Far From Home by Jazzanova
• Homecoming by Kanye West
• Hometown Glory by Adele
• Hometone Glory (radio edit) by Adele
• GAMEBOY/HOMEBOY (Que' Onda Guero) by Beck
• Home Is Where the Hatred Is by Esther Phillips
• I Wonder If I Take You Home by Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam

#resound11: Best Gift

"Never gonna see the day that I don't have the upper hand." - Timbaland featuring Nelly Furtado & Justin Timberlake, Give It To Me

Prompt 13: Best Gift
What was the best gift you gave yourself this year? Did you buy big, fluffy towels? Did you have a massage on a day when you really needed it? Did you forgive someone and give yourself the freedom from that grudge?

I might not agree with this on Tuesdays and Thursdays around 8:45 in the morning when I am trying to pick myself up off the mats or struggling to climb up the stairs of my gym but spending the money (mad cheddar) on personal training was probably the best gift I gave to myself this year.

To know I'm, physically, the strongest I've ever been in my life is an amazing feeling. There are things I do at the gym now that I couldn't have even imagined 4 months ago. I see it when I look in the mirror. I feel it when I take on a physical challenge out in the real world and know i can accomplish it.

It takes discipline to make it to training on those days. I take the bus there (or walk sometimes). I have to get up early. This week, I'm facing the elements and the cold. And I'm heading there to get my ass kicked.

And I love it.

Soundtrack to this post 

• Give It To Me by Timbaland
• You Give Me Something by Jamiroquai
• I'll Never Give In by Aya
• Give In by 4hero

#resound11: 12 in 12

"You'll never think you're the only one when times are tough in your new age." - The Polyphonic Spree, Section 12 (Hold Me Now)

Prompt 12: 12 in 12
Take today to talk about 12 things you would like to accomplish in 2012. These 12 things can be 12 resolutions, 12 changes in your life, 12 wines you'd like to drink, 12 cities you'd like to visit, or 12 monthly goals.

I will do another Personal Operating Plan as we get closer to the turn of the calendar so this is just going to be stream of consciousness until I get to 12.

Ready?

1. Get back to New Orleans
2. Travel Internationally again
3. Long weekends in NYC, DC, and the ATL
4. Drive to the Grand Canyon
5. Look at the scale and see 200 (or less)
6. Get my blood pressure right
7. Do more 5k and 10k races
8. Get back in the habit of voluntEARing
9. Get a new computer and monitor
10. Eat at ink
11. Eat at The Bazaar
12. Support Tiffany's desire for more themed house parties

Soundtrack to this post

• Section 12 (Hold Me Now) by The Polyphonic Spree
• Back and Forth (12" Larry Blackmon Mix) by Cameo
• Season 8 Episode 12 by Kira Neris
• This is for the Lover in You (12" Version) by Shalamar
• A Night to Remember (12" Version) by Shalamar

#resound11: Best Meal

"Fish. Not afraid to dive." - Bonnie Pink, Fish

Prompt 11: Best Meal
What is the best meal or best food that you have eaten all year? Did you make it? Did you get it at a restaurant? Do your best to describe the food and the experience with us.

Cibubur is a suburb of Jakarta known for it's shrimping. At least that's what we were told by our hosts as we arrived for a post-wedding meal with our new family in Indonesia.

I've had more elegant meals this year. The tasting menu at Rivera in February. Nearly every meal we had in New Orleans in May. Our many excursions to Sushi Yuzu. Nothing, however, was as delightful and visceral an experience as this feast of fish and shrimp and awesome.

We sat in a hut with our shoes off and low to the ground. I say ground, but actually, we were over a koi pond flush with orange and white and yellow finned friends. As rain showers unsettled the  surface, we joined in, tossing in feed of our own. Serving the fish before they fed us.

The wait staff brought out plate after plate of freshly fried and grilled fish, head on, caught just that day, and wonderful. We ate with our hands, taking a bit of the sticky rice into our palm, ripped off a piece of fish and then shoveled int our mouths.

After the first bite, I let out a moan of delight. My eyes got big and then I began to dig in rapidly. And the plates kept coming. Grilled shrimp, whole and on skewers; king crab cooked to perfection; vegetables that we mostly ignored.

It was the best meal because it was the most memorable. I had traveled further than I ever had to a culture I knew so little about only to find the company of new friends and family who love what I love about food -- how it brings people together, how it reveals so much about who we are and what we care about.

How a single bite of food can be a revelation: I'm in heaven. I'm home.

Soundtrack to this post

• More Fish by Raekwon and Ghostface Killah
• Fish by Bonnie Pink
• Weird Fishes/Arpeggi by Radiohead
• Superfast Jellyfish by Gorillaz
• Fish (w/ Cappadonna & Raekwon) by Ghostface Killah
• Edure 2 Fish (remix) by Oddisee
• Fish Head by Slim & The Soulful Saints
• With the Fishes by French Kicks
• Otha Fish by The Pharcyde
• Jellyfish by Ghostface Killah